IdleMands

The world is a stage and the devil plays at McDonald’s Playplace.

[IdleMands @IdleMands]

@jdereilly @DnDAdventure Did the finale ever get posted? I just finished episode 4.24 but don’t see any more and it looks like it was posted Pat year. What happens?!

[IdleMands @IdleMands]

Im “12 second skip protection” years old

[IdleMands @IdleMands]

Favor is the closest thing I’ll ever have to a butler. “Fetch me my Grigio, Stewart, and get yourself a biscotti if you’re feeling zippy.”

[fredesque @FredTaming]

if this is a then wtf
pair of scissors is this

[IdleMands @IdleMands]

#StPatricksDay is the new #NewYear

[IdleMands @IdleMands]

App dating hack: call everybody “boo” or “sweetie” when you meet. Let’s be real, no one can keep all those names straight!

[IdleMands @IdleMands]

My ex CEO didn’t break glass ceilings, she broke glass slipper. Girl, size 11, she’s a BBW in the feet!

[IdleMands @IdleMands]

@GDUB18T 🥺

[IdleMands @IdleMands]

Which is worse, a “meh” or an “eh”?

[IdleMands @IdleMands]

Password, I didn’t forget you, I just realized our relationship is toxic and moved on.

[IdleMands @IdleMands]

A mid-day shower🚿 is like a reset button. You just respawn and start the level over.

[IdleMands @IdleMands]

@Lucifersatan696 Thanks

[IdleMands @IdleMands]

Today America 🇺🇸 finally took her bra off and relaxed.

[IdleMands @IdleMands]

@GDUB18T Would it feel better if they did look back? You’re still broken.

[IdleMands @IdleMands]

This bar smells like a urinal cake. Hey! At least I know I haven’t lost my sense of smell. #covidfree

[IdleMands @IdleMands]

If dating apps were waiters I’d be speaking to their manager. I ask for prime rib with potatoes and get fried liver with pickled onions.

[IdleMands @IdleMands]

I like my toast like my bridges, burnt but then buttered up. 🧈

[IdleMands @IdleMands]

Married people should be registered sex pretenders.

[IdleMands @IdleMands]

Can’t, I’m busy learning how to use Twitter.