Alan Coldewey II

[Fascinating Pictures @FascinatingPix]

They say there are plenty more fish in the sea... but until I catch one, I'm just stuck here holding my rod

[Seth Rogan @SethRoganTV]

How do you kill a black person? Throw KFC in the street during rush hour.

[Fascinating Pictures @FascinatingPix]

This whole NBA lockout could have been over with a lot earlier if the owners brought in a bucket of KFC as an incentive for the players...

[Fascinating Pictures @FascinatingPix]

$2.75 Trojan condoms or $19.99 Huggies?
The choice is yours.

[Men's Humor @MensHumor]

You think 7 years for a mirror is bad? Try breaking a condom.

[Men's Humor @MensHumor]

Women are just jealous of men because we can use our penis as a laser gun to shoot off poop specks on the inside of the toilet.

[Words @wordstionary]

I watched Transformers today, and I've spent the past 2 hours in my garage telling my car I know his secret... He's shy.

[Men's Humor @MensHumor]

There's always one annoying ass in the office who spends more time concerned with what everyone else is doing than actually working.

[Alan Coldewey II @IIAlan]

“@FillWerrell: How does Justin Beiber remove a condom? He farts.” lmao!!!!

[Alan Coldewey II @IIAlan]

#ThingsICantLiveWithout....... Family n friends #1

[Alan Coldewey II @IIAlan]

My son is growing up on me... Found him in pantry on phone in the dark talking with a lil girl.. SMH.. So cute tho that he's hiding it..

[Alan Coldewey II @IIAlan]

Grrrrr.... Getn sick . I need my vacation already

[Alan Coldewey II @IIAlan]

Wish this San Antonio cold weather stays through this weekend!!

[Men's Humor @MensHumor]

My neighbors and I were cool...until they put a password on their wireless internet.

[Alan Coldewey II @IIAlan]

“@MensHumor: Trojan just released a new camouflage condom. Their slogan is "They will never see you coming!"” ah ha

[Men's Humor @MensHumor]

Roses are brown, Violets are brown, Grass is brown..Who took a shit in my garden?

[Men's Humor @MensHumor]

Women & Google are the only 2 things in my life that can't let me get a damn sentence out without suggesting what I want.

[Men's Humor @MensHumor]

Ladies, Halloween costume idea: Dominatrix Dora the Genital Explorer!

[Men's Humor @MensHumor]

I've always wanted to get into a cab and yell "Follow that car!!!!"

[Alan Coldewey II @IIAlan]

“@MeggieRey: @axlonghorn figured you might enjoy this picture:) ahaha http://t.co/Ml1MTeU4”. Ah ha too funny