Bud

I tweet funny things from a cubicle.

[Bud @ImInACube]

The only emails I've received today are out of office auto responses. #WhyAmIHere

[Bud @ImInACube]

Just heard my boss say she needs a vacation somewhere warm. Why, I ask. She drives me to hell everyday.

[Bud @ImInACube]

Whoever coined the phrase "work is no picnic" clearly has never packed a picnic.

[Bud @ImInACube]

It finally happened. My boss complimented my performance. She said I work at tortoise speed. I feel sorry for the hare.

[Bud @ImInACube]

Can I expense my new stereo? I spend a good portion of the work day thinking about it.

[Bud @ImInACube]

I don’t get the term "end of business day (EOB)." For me the day ends as soon as I sit in my cube.

[Bud @ImInACube]

I forgot what I was going to tweet. All I remember is that it was one of the top 5 funniest things ever written. Oh well.

[Bud @ImInACube]

Yeah, I've seen office space. Just another Hollywood movie that glamorizes cube life.

[Bud @ImInACube]

Note to future me: Don't try to negotiate cube size when offered a new job.

[Bud @ImInACube]

Got offered a new job! Sent them an email to negotiate cube size, but haven't heard back. They must be playing hardball.

[Bud @ImInACube]

Just excused myself from a meeting because I have "more pressing matters..." This tweet.

[Bud @ImInACube]

I got stuck driving behind an Oldsmobile with liscense plate, "Old Harv." It would have been faster to walk back from lunch.

[Bud @ImInACube]

Trying to quit coffee. It's going well except I'm a little jittery from all the cappuccino.

[Bud @ImInACube]

Who microwaved raw chicken in the break room again!?  If I keep asking, nobody will grow suspicious of me.

[Bud @ImInACube]

A cube-mate removed the sticker I forgot to take off a new shirt. Another cubie was like, “I saw that earlier!” Thank you, Ass.

[Bud @ImInACube]

The Koi fish and I aren’t so dissimilar. We both work in an enclosed space and drink on the job.

[Bud @ImInACube]

Am I a team player at work? Absolutely. I’m the guy who sits at the end of the bench and never takes off his warm up suit.

[Bud @ImInACube]

I “accidentally” left my out of office message on so I don't have to respond to any emails. Oops.

[Bud @ImInACube]

Legally changing my name to @JustinBieber so I can pull more chicks in 2011.

[Bud @ImInACube]

My boss doesn't do new years resolutions. Perfection was attained in 1996.