Not Rob Ford

I'm the mayor... #ThugLife

[Not Rob Ford @ImNotRobFord]

I apologize for my last tweet. #SoSorry

[Not Rob Ford @ImNotRobFord]

I'm still here, bitches...

[Not Rob Ford @ImNotRobFord]

You know what else I do when I'm drunk: exhale forcefully, yet slowly into my empty beer bottle. Makes me sound like Darth Vader

[Not Rob Ford @ImNotRobFord]

Sometimes I like to mutter "Oh God help me" as I take another swig #twitterafterdark

[Not Rob Ford @ImNotRobFord]

In case I didn't mention this already, I'm actually #TheMostHigh. And not just on Sundays. #twitterafterdark

[Not Rob Ford @ImNotRobFord]

I'm only going to follow 69 people, total. #twitterafterdark

[Not Rob Ford @ImNotRobFord]

Hey...if any ladies want to give me something to eat, I'm hungry #twitterafterdark

[Not Rob Ford @ImNotRobFord]

Don't know about you, but I'm ready for curling. #Olympics #AndCrack

[Not Rob Ford @ImNotRobFord]

Exactly! RT @joshtpm: T-shirt souvenir @hunterw brought back for me from Toronto #robford #TOpoli #crack

[Not Rob Ford @ImNotRobFord]

People don't realize--not just anyone can get Mel Gibson/Charlie Sheen wasted by night and be mayor by day. #DontTryThisAtHome

[Not Rob Ford @ImNotRobFord]

Legggoooo.... RT @Yo_favoriteMIC: I want to party rock with rob ford

[Not Rob Ford @ImNotRobFord]

Don't hate RT @Haiqa4682: LOL our mayor attends a Justin Timberlake concert and then there is Rob Ford....

[Not Rob Ford @ImNotRobFord]

I'm following 69 people. Well...I am #twitterafterdark

[Not Rob Ford @ImNotRobFord]

I get more than enough crack at home #twitterafterdark

[Not Rob Ford @ImNotRobFord]

Wtf kinda name is Shia LaBeouf?

[Not Rob Ford @ImNotRobFord]

Shia LaBeouf plagiarized my apologies too.

[Not Rob Ford @ImNotRobFord]

I'm not really Rob Ford #twitterafterdark

[Not Rob Ford @ImNotRobFord]

I'm Rob Ford #twitterafterdark

[Not Rob Ford @ImNotRobFord]

I apologize for not wishing everyone a Happy New Year earlier. I was busy #WithCrack

[Not Rob Ford @ImNotRobFord]

I haven't tweeted much as I've been in drunken stupors and smoking crack the entire holiday season #HappyKwaanza