It's still time to believe in yourself, improve self, acknowledge self, rather than go to God complaining-(an identity, an illusion ) to wash off your dirt, than to improve on life, relations.
Good day
Has the so called god enough bandwidth to listen to the prayers of billion of people simultaneously on planet/already dead, decide which confess to entertain which to punish, which cancer/accident patients to die which to survive where to send Tsunami and where to send earthquake