Jordan Paterson

Closet Ukulele player. My autumn clothes consist of band tees, black jeans and dark blue Doc Martens

[Jordan Paterson @ImpoliteDoodle]

@JemelOneFive @nocontextmemes I'm not sure what you mean they look perfectly fine to meAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[Jordan Paterson @ImpoliteDoodle]

THIS IS NOT A DRILL, DANNY MURPHY CAT UPDATE #PORSPA

[Jordan Paterson @ImpoliteDoodle]

@EastMidRailway Ticket acceptance on a train that's already dangerously overcrowded. Absolute joke as per.

[Jordan Paterson @ImpoliteDoodle]

@EastMidRailway why have I just had to get off the St Pancras train to Sheffield in Derby then?

[Jordan Paterson @ImpoliteDoodle]

@EastMidRailway How on earth has someone stolen signalling cables, why is it only effecting one train and why was it announced as a "fault with the train" by staff then?

[Jordan Paterson @ImpoliteDoodle]

@RaiqueTavares There's a couple scenes in Mike Bassett England Manager that look pretty good

[Jordan Paterson @ImpoliteDoodle]

@GJF1889 Gone into so many derby games with United as favourites only for us to not show up or something mad happen. Not taking it for granted at all

[Jordan Paterson @ImpoliteDoodle]

@loganchittyts @TonyPizzaGuy THANK YOU! Best gag in the whole video (BOBBY LASHLEY ILL BE A SUNOVABITCH a close second)

[Jordan Paterson @ImpoliteDoodle]

@northernassist why is the 16:35 from Sheffield - Huddersfield delayed? Trains been stopped at Chapeltown for 15 minutes with no explanation given by staff

[Jordan Paterson @ImpoliteDoodle]

@AllThingsBlades Selles-level of delusion

[Jordan Paterson @ImpoliteDoodle]

@AllThingsBlades I'd take loans if it meant not seeing Chong, McGuiness and Hoever in a starting lineup for us again this season. What on earth was Wilder thinking with that starting XI

[Jordan Paterson @ImpoliteDoodle]

3-0 win at Hillsborough, could have been 6 by the end of it and never looked like conceding. Fantastic performance

Also, we are 3-0 in derby games after I've flipped off the Deftones poster in my house the morning of the game #sufc #twitterblades

[Jordan Paterson @ImpoliteDoodle]

Excellent second half performance. Burrows was brilliant when he came on #surf #twitterblades

[Jordan Paterson @ImpoliteDoodle]

Blackburn have looked better than us in every area of the pitch. Get Cannon hooked at half time, he's done absolutely nothing. Might as well stick Adam Davies up top with Ings #sufc #twitterblades

[Jordan Paterson @ImpoliteDoodle]

@bloodycages Genuinely thought the first voice on this vid was @duel3000

[Jordan Paterson @ImpoliteDoodle]

@AllThingsBlades Been saying for weeks we look like a relegation team top-to-bottom. New recruits aren't good enough and high performers from last season look dreadful

[Jordan Paterson @ImpoliteDoodle]

@owl_s74 @ChrisWilde21 @MarkHowsham @carlton_cd Blade in peace, agree with you on this. I've seen Owls tweeting they want fans to run on to the pitch to cause an abandonment. They'd tweeted it during games, meaning they were sat at home

Don't think people fully realise the legal implications for individuals if they do

[Jordan Paterson @ImpoliteDoodle]

@SheffieldUnited I would like to not thank him

[Jordan Paterson @ImpoliteDoodle]

Whose going to go down as a worse Sheffield United manager between David Weir and Selles then?

Weir was awful and we were absolutely League 1 relegation fodder, but the squad he had was rotten and we were bottom of the league in Feb under Clough

#twitterblades #sufc

[Jordan Paterson @ImpoliteDoodle]

@AndyPreston96 I hope he's sacked before the bus is back in Sheffield

[Jordan Paterson @ImpoliteDoodle]

If that miss is what gets Selles the sack, it's the best thing Sam McCallum has done since joining the club a year ago #sufc #twitterblades