InAnotherLife

Sean Dyche on your stag do

[InAnotherLife @InAnother1]

Government Cabinet ministers if they had other jobs.

THREAD 🧵

[InAnotherLife @InAnother1]

Government Cabinet ministers if they had other jobs.

THREAD 🧵

[InAnotherLife @InAnother1]

Football managers on your stag do 🧵

[InAnotherLife @InAnother1]

@RishiSunak A far more appropriate role

[InAnotherLife @InAnother1]

Rishi, estate agent: Calls himself the “Wolf of Wandsworth” after topping the lettings leaderboard for three weeks running. His unrivalled ability of shifting overpriced shitholes to elderly widows make him a legend among the Foxtons rank and file.

[InAnotherLife @InAnother1]

Sajid, assistant manager KFC: His relentless desire to usurp the manager earns him the nickname Slippery Saj. He quits once over “creative differences” with corporate, and a second time for mocking a customer who couldn’t afford a Boneless Banquet. Gets his job back both times.

[InAnotherLife @InAnother1]

Government Cabinet ministers if they had other jobs.

THREAD 🧵

[InAnotherLife @InAnother1]

Ben, Humpty Dumpty impersonator: Not much demand for it, but it’s one of the few jobs to match his skill set. Splits his head open when he falls off a 6ft garden wall at a children’s party. The kids think it's part of the act, it's not.

[InAnotherLife @InAnother1]

Good to see Kevin de Bruyne representing the North West on Great British Menu 👏

[InAnotherLife @InAnother1]

Sajid Javid: Isn’t into it, leaves early.

[InAnotherLife @InAnother1]

THREAD: Imagining Cabinet ministers at a lockdown birthday party*

🧵

*or work event

[InAnotherLife @InAnother1]

Boris Johnson: After his third yard of ale, Dorries gives the him an England shirt with ‘CAPTAIN, LEADER, LEGEND’ on the back. It matches his bucket hat. He wears the shirt over his suit and plays air guitar to "Lies" by Fleetwood Mac. It is the best birthday he's ever had.