The Intellectual Mug

Internationally respected professor of psychology and sociology. Certified genius and author. Regular drinker at The Bricklayers Arms, Bermondsey. #genius

[The Intellectual Mug @IntellectualMug]

My latest masterpiece, ‘Crimson Beast, the Trevor Kipling Story’, is available online for a modest £25.99.
“Professor Lewis is a literary genius who has truly captured the folly of Trevor Kipling”
Mark Thompson, assistant head of Sociology at Lewisham College.

[The Intellectual Mug @IntellectualMug]

In the Brikkies and Keith Bowles was just staring out my “colleague” Prof. Thomas. The Prof didn’t want any trouble, so decided to leave. But as he picked up his umbrella, Bowles panicked and dived behind a plant pot, screaming “No, don’t hurt me”.

[The Intellectual Mug @IntellectualMug]

My students are up in arms and have all threatened to boycott the work, so I’ve arranged a meeting with them for tomorrow where I will turn up dressed as Thomas Jefferson in an attempt to make my point & hopefully win them over.

[The Intellectual Mug @IntellectualMug]

🧵 I’ve just had a few months off work due to a “psychotic episode” (although I question the credentials of the doctor who diagnosed me) & I’m now told by my employers that I’m being “extraordinarily difficult ”concerning the way that I handed over my workload to a “colleague”…

[The Intellectual Mug @IntellectualMug]

Well now I’m back, I’m insisting that my students answer the following question for their essays over Xmas ‘To what extent did 14th century Islamic poetry contribute to global understanding of Arabic culture”…

[The Intellectual Mug @IntellectualMug]

@NewsBermondsey @stfcjoner1986 @Cjones_1990 @cllrsammccarthy The only thing McCarthy would agree on is not to agree with any agreement whatsoever.

[The Intellectual Mug @IntellectualMug]

Trev was playing darts with Linekar’s photo on the bull. I scoffed & said “my crimson friend, now that an England legend is such anathema to you, presumably you’ll start worshipping Diego Maradona instead?”. He stared at me for 6 seconds before smashing my head through the frutie

[The Intellectual Mug @IntellectualMug]

… then Ted, Trev, Eddie and the lads cheered & started chanting “SHOOT HIM DOWN, SHOOT HIM DOWN, SHOOT HIM DOWN”.

[The Intellectual Mug @IntellectualMug]

It’s just come on RT that Dave Christ has floated into Russian airspace tied to an enormous helium balloon. The footage showed him hovering about 60 feet above Kaliningrad & shouting “OI GET ME DOWN YA VODKA DRINKING MUGS”. We were all watching in the pub… 1/2

[The Intellectual Mug @IntellectualMug]

@KiplingTrevor Oh dear god

[The Intellectual Mug @IntellectualMug]

@KiplingTrevor My dear crimson friend, this could be the same NATO whom you fought a civil war against, and the same NATO whom you served under as a young man. Ring any bells yet?

[The Intellectual Mug @IntellectualMug]

I heard Ted & Trev chatting in the boozer about how they don’t want to be outdone by the Chinese. Mental Mills turned up in the pub garden with an enormous helium balloon tied to a rope, which they then forcibly tied around Dave Christ’s waist & watched him float up into the sky

[The Intellectual Mug @IntellectualMug]

I appeared as a guest on In Our Time today as an expert on the Islamic Golden Age. In response to a query on astronomy I boldly claimed that Willie Whitelaw launched the first satellite from Damascus in 1185. Melvyn Bragg stared blankly at me for 8 seconds then asked me to leave

[The Intellectual Mug @IntellectualMug]

@KiplingTrevor Ahhh the people of south London are lucky to have access to this sort of culture

[The Intellectual Mug @IntellectualMug]

An academic in Portugal has written a whole chapter about how my thesis “The excessive alcohol myth, how scientists have tricked you into believing it damages your liver” is “Dangerously retarded, quasi-intellectual hog wash”

[The Intellectual Mug @IntellectualMug]

@Ryan__Jones9 The impressive aspect of this status is that it treads the line between rhetoric and reality in an attempt to hammer home your point. The unimpressive aspect is your utterly ghastly reliance on quote tweets, old chap.

[The Intellectual Mug @IntellectualMug]

My wife asked me to get costumes for our 3 grandsons. I got 3 suits with a blue tie, a yellow tie & a pinky/purple one, plus 3 large podiums which attach around their necks. They can hardly walk, but it’s worth it as I guarantee no one else will dress as the 2010 leaders debate.

[The Intellectual Mug @IntellectualMug]

The psychopaths will be returning to the Bricklayers over the next 24 hours or so. Botty looks really depressed as he always makes record profits whilst the “chaps” are out of town. The place transforms into a family friendly, gastro pub with the mere pulling of a hidden lever.

[The Intellectual Mug @IntellectualMug]

@KiplingTrevor If this is the same licence which Harry Springsteen and ‘Taff’ Owen posses, then I wouldn’t go boasting about its prominence, my crimson friend.