Recruitment Banter

This. Is. Recruitment.

[Recruitment Banter @InternalBanter]

An old boss once said to me “I swear to drunk I'm not God, but seriously, stay in drugs, eat school, and don't do vegetables.”

Wise chap

[Recruitment Banter @InternalBanter]

97% of the paper money held by staff in my office is contaminated with traces of sniff.

The other 3% belongs to Helen, and she’s boring.

[Recruitment Banter @InternalBanter]

Also, how the fuck aren’t Columbia an absolute superpower yet?

They produce both coffee and cocaine, literally my weekly shop.

[Recruitment Banter @InternalBanter]

A fella who used to work in my team way back in the day got a part in a new film called “Cocaine”.

But they only gave him one line

[Recruitment Banter @InternalBanter]

I’ve been offline for 481 days.

That’s about the same duration Manpower offers a ‘free replacement’ for all placed candidates.

Melts.

[Recruitment Banter @InternalBanter]

Met my mates 7 month old boy who was babbling a load of nonsense, gurning covered in dribble. Im sat there like "standard rec night out lad"

[Recruitment Banter @InternalBanter]

@jaymarland see you on the dunes next year Marland

[Recruitment Banter @InternalBanter]

So, you still up for this camel race? @jaymarland #ThrowbackTo2016

[Recruitment Banter @InternalBanter]

The thing that puts me off from buying my third flat is having to deal with an Estate Agent.

If you can sell, you don't sell property.

[Recruitment Banter @InternalBanter]

Set my alarm for 6:30am this morning.

Then I remembered I'm not an Estate Agent and don't have to work weekends.

#AllDriveMinis

[Recruitment Banter @InternalBanter]

Secret santa.

I literally don't recognise half the names on this list.

"Trevor". We employ a lad called Trevor? Who the fuck is he?

[Recruitment Banter @InternalBanter]

So I've been on the protein shakes and juice plus gear for three days and still look exactly the fucking same.

Someone get me a beer!

[Recruitment Banter @InternalBanter]

People (Ladies I'm looking at you here) if there's more than one person in your LI photo I'm going to assume you're the ugly one #Hiding

[Recruitment Banter @InternalBanter]

Mugabe has resigned!

Anyone here got his digits? I want him in my firm.

He'd be a ruthless fucker on the phones

#MugabeRec

[Recruitment Banter @InternalBanter]

On a train out of the City, heating on full whack.

I'm in a super 120 wool three piece & collar bar.

My wet look gel is in trouble

[Recruitment Banter @InternalBanter]

Anyone here connected with or know this modern day wordsmith #Lemon

[Recruitment Banter @InternalBanter]

The question that every recruiter asks every other recruiter

"Mate, who's your top three in the office?"

#recruitment

[Recruitment Banter @InternalBanter]

ASOS orders all over the gaff at HQ. A sign that the office hotties are planning their Xmas party outfits & trying to 'out fit' each other

[Recruitment Banter @InternalBanter]

The only time I ever expect to hear a Giffgaff answerphone is when I'm calling my contact on a Friday night before a big sesh #PickUpTony

[Recruitment Banter @InternalBanter]

@SAMcKenna1 @recruiterguynw making a snapshot decision about a candidates phone provider is your biggest problem with recruiters? 😂

[Recruitment Banter @InternalBanter]

I charge 35% so I'm motivated to fill the role. At 12% I won't even lift the phone. I I got a C in GCSE business. Supply & Demand, innit.