troubled➰

| | sixth year with ED | | relapse | | UGW: 0 | | • hi, avi is me • Rest in the sweetest peace, Mom | |

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Tbh I am just so disappointed in myself for being alive for 2015.

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You're afraid to die
and you're afraid to live.
What a way to exist.

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every . single . thought .
revolves around food or my body
and it is becoming so
goddamned exhausting
again.

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you know things are getting bad again when you start procrastinating showers.

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so sick of pretending to be stronger than i actually feel

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i'm not even a person anymore, i'm just all stress and sadness.

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It's been almost three months since my mom passed away, and I honestly don't want to live another month without her.

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Any chance that I had to be okay again is completely gone now.

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ready to die

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Brutal heart pains tonight, and I didn't even purge today. Wtf?

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@FitFamGer wow you're just too kind, but thank you!

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@_Ana_Girl_ OMG wow no one has ever said that to me, I'm so flattered but I don't understand what you're seeing 😳 you're too kind

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@_Ana_Girl_ oh wow you're too sweet! You wouldn't say that if you actually saw them up close without pants! Flabby flabby

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Stupid belly pouch wtf #picslip #weightgain #help #needtolosefast

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*pulls up to drive-through window*

"Hi, I'll have the cure for pizza addiction please."

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Holy fuck I can't believe how fat I've let myself get the past couple weeks

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"I'm exhausted from trying to be stronger than I feel."

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I wish "running" away from feelings burnt calories.