Iowa Republicans

Simply hysteresis.

[Iowa Republicans @IowaRepParty]

UPDATE: We've recounted our caucus votes again. Right now we're showing Eli Manning edging out Romney, Santorum and Bueller. #Nevada

[Iowa Republicans @IowaRepParty]

UPDATE! Took a break from the president's speech and found a grain silo full of Rick Perry votes. Oops. Can someone ping him? #SOTU

[Iowa Republicans @IowaRepParty]

We know everyone is focused on the president's speech, but can someone let us know if we can stop recounting votes now? Hungry. #SOTU

[Iowa Republicans @IowaRepParty]

Internal investigation has turned up a faulty abacus at the Lansing City Library as most likely cause for delay in Iowa Caucus final tally.

[Iowa Republicans @IowaRepParty]

UPDATE! We are now prepared to declare Fred Thompson the winner of the 2012 Iowa Caucus. Major factor: His Die Hard 2 performance. #FLDebate

[Iowa Republicans @IowaRepParty]

BREAKING: One of our precinct captains has discovered a bag under his desk labeled "Big Sack of Votes." Hoping it's a Santa prank. #FLDebate

[Iowa Republicans @IowaRepParty]

Update: Heidi Klum is said to be divorcing popular singer/songwriter Seal. And not, as we projected, Mitt Romney. #Iowa #GOP

[Iowa Republicans @IowaRepParty]

Update: We now have irrefutable evidence that Jason Alexander, and not Mitt Romney, was the spokesperson for the McDLT. http://t.co/WEnFECsQ

[Iowa Republicans @IowaRepParty]

Update: We can now declare that Gary Bauer finished 4th in the 2000 Iowa caucuses. And was terrific for eight seasons on 24. #Iowa

[Iowa Republicans @IowaRepParty]

Update: We are now prepared to declare 2008's "Guns N' Roses - Chinese Democracy" to be a highly disappointing album. #Iowa

[Iowa Republicans @IowaRepParty]

Update: Receiving an irrefutable 7% of all votes, Pierre S. "Pete" du Pont IV has finished fifth in the 1988 Iowa Republican Caucus. #Iowa