Items of Note

Items that are of note.

[rob delaney @robdelaney]

My cousin claims she's a feminist but I checked her iPod & there's no Beyoncé on it. Should I tell her employer or just throw paint at her?

[Brent Piaskoski @BrentPiaskoski]

Woke up to find I was followed by 63 accounts, all selling jewelry. If I knew these were my people I would've done more jewelry tweets.

[Items of Note @ItemsofNote]

RT @IamEnidColeslaw: To live is to suffer

[Items of Note @ItemsofNote]

“The last thing I remember was saying, ‘Come to mama,’ and then I woke up in a hospital bed.” http://t.co/yI4I0ybfAK

[Items of Note @ItemsofNote]

RT @DanKCharnley: My body can survive 3 days without water and 3 hours without cholitos.

[Items of Note @ItemsofNote]

RT @SarahThyre: In my day, we didn't swipe left or right. We wiped front to back like decent folk.

[Items of Note @ItemsofNote]

RT @SarahThyre: I know I'm a total trashy hick because when I read about the Palin brawl, my first thought was "I could kick all their...

[Items of Note @ItemsofNote]

RT @IamEnidColeslaw: there is nothing worse than asking someone how they're doing and hearing more than a one-word answer

[Items of Note @ItemsofNote]

RT @IamEnidColeslaw: my Target just moved the candy aisle next to the booze aisle and it's like they know me

[Items of Note @ItemsofNote]

RT @meganamram: Lebron just made his decision: he's an ass man

[Items of Note @ItemsofNote]

RT @morninggloria: I'm a transformer that takes 85 years to transform from a baby to a dead old lady.

[Items of Note @ItemsofNote]

RT @BoobsRadley: If you feel bad boiling lobster alive, try this: tell the lobster it’s “really great” then just kind of gradually...

[Items of Note @ItemsofNote]

RT @IamEnidColeslaw: pretty out of practice when it comes to sex so tonight I'm making my sister throw hot dogs at my face

[Items of Note @ItemsofNote]

RT @robdelaney: Twist and Shit #BadBeatlesSongs

[Chaucer Doth Tweet @LeVostreGC]

Cease thou from thy vayne attemptes to maken fetch to happen.

[Items of Note @ItemsofNote]

@morninggloria it took me several seconds to even process what you meant. And then: tears.

[Items of Note @ItemsofNote]

Incredibly annoying to get identical advertising from multiple accounts. cc @1DeenaRae @ebookbuilders @bbandbpodcast @ebb_2

[Mary Charlene @IamEnidColeslaw]

*yanks tampon string*
*hears ominous ticking sound*

[Items of Note @ItemsofNote]

RT @jesseberney: Luckily I work in politics, where people only get ahead by merit, and never by being obnoxious fuckheads oh wait