Incredible Medical Threadical

A day in the life of a Midlands Ambulance Service paramedic (a parody account).

[Incredible Medical Threadical @IThreadical]

Cat 1: cardiac arrest in street. Officer on route.

Update: Patient is a sparrow.

[Incredible Medical Threadical @IThreadical]

Cat 3: mental health. Pt seen through living window dancing naked on table. Caller not with patient.

Now where do we keep the spare under-crackers 🤷🏾‍♀️.

[Incredible Medical Threadical @IThreadical]

@ParaTweet999 1st crew conveyed, giving them late finish off patch! 🤦‍♂️

[Incredible Medical Threadical @IThreadical]

Red back up for a (new) para crew. Diazemuls given. "Fitting"
Pt had called 999 himself, had discharge letter on side for previous pseudo episode w/ref to psychology.
Stimuli given to which pt said "you're not hurting me, you know"
Fit ended, not post ictal

[Incredible Medical Threadical @IThreadical]

It's a pseudo special today!

[Incredible Medical Threadical @IThreadical]

Cat 1:convulsion

O/A:not a seizure, 5/10 for the amateur dramatics.Asked pt to stop, she did.

Informed pts friend that she was not having a convulsion and was just pretending. Friend stormed off and said ‘how can she do this to me, she knows I suffer with pseudo seizures’ 🧐.

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@A_D_Bailey @wmasshivb Yes, I’ve been sent to chest pains and when I’ve got there the patient has said ‘I don’t have chest pain really but I knew you’d come quicker if I said I did’ 😡

[Incredible Medical Threadical @IThreadical]

Category 1: Cardiac Arrest

On arrival: Patient answered the door himself and frantically informed us that his heart wasn’t beating.

Is this classed as a ROSC 🧐

[Incredible Medical Threadical @IThreadical]

@LancePPalmer 😂😂, I had ‘CPR in progress but patient keeps trying to get up’.

[Incredible Medical Threadical @IThreadical]

@stretcherbearer Although this is 2018 where common sense deficiency is an epidemic.

[Incredible Medical Threadical @IThreadical]

@stretcherbearer Is the patient breathing? ‘No’.

I guess they don’t ask whether the caller is the actual patient in this situation as they would assume that most people would possess enough common sense to realise that they wouldn’t be able to use a phone if their heart wasn’t beating 😂.

[Incredible Medical Threadical @IThreadical]

Cat. 2: Bleeding from ear, major blood loss.

On arrival: Pt holding a piece of bog roll to ear, cat has scratched ear lobe.

#bluelightsandsirensforthis

[Incredible Medical Threadical @IThreadical]

Cat 3: 83 year old female. Slipped out of bed. Injuries unknown.

On arrival: patient naked and has opened her bowels everywhere.... what I imagine she was doing prior to arrival 💩

[Incredible Medical Threadical @IThreadical]

Cat 2: Breathing Problem 49yo male. Asthmatic pt.

On arrival: Hiccups

[Incredible Medical Threadical @IThreadical]

Cat 2: ? Stroke. Visual disturbances. Onset within 4 hours.

On arrival: pt had dirty glasses.

Treatment plan: wipe glasses with tissue.

#Icouldntdoyourjob

[Incredible Medical Threadical @IThreadical]

@DocAllanHarris @josh_paramedic But cheesier

[Incredible Medical Threadical @IThreadical]

Today I heard a student telling his mates in the crew room that he had been called out to an elderly gentleman with trauma to his todger following failed catheter insertion.

Instead of putting a pad in the patients pants he decided to bandage the soggy sausage.

[Incredible Medical Threadical @IThreadical]

Red call: major blood loss, more than 2 mug fulls. Cold, clammy, patient appears shocked.

On arrival: shaving cut to chin.

#youmustseesomesights

[Incredible Medical Threadical @IThreadical]

Welcome to this awesome Incredible Medical Threadical.... lets hope they’re not deadical.