Michael

[Michael @itsmichaelyo]

Why did they do Jollibee like that 💀

[Vincent Kennedy @VincentCrypt46]

Notice a pattern here?

[🅰️🛴📧⚒📍 @_4L3X1]

At least 80% of Americans live in a vibe desert. They have to drive upwards of 20 minutes to catch a vibe, and many have no idea where their next vibe will come from

[Alex Hormozi @AlexHormozi]

It just takes work. Shit loads and shit loads of work. Every time I try and dress it up or cut a corner I get brutally reminded:

The work just needs doing.

[Mikael @mikael_jibril]

Pray to be gentle — so that good things can come easier to you without sabotaging them with harshness.

[Michael @itsmichaelyo]

I was sadly informed today that Thanks-A-Lots were discontinued by the Girl Scouts as of 6 years ago

[Michael @itsmichaelyo]

A crack pipe rolled out from under one of the seats on the BART and me and the girl across the isle looked at each other like Jim from The Office

[Michael @itsmichaelyo]

Mercury goes retrograde, and my car stops functioning… Like clockwork

[michael @FilledwithUrine]

we used to have dudes named Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart now we got dudes named michael

[Michael @itsmichaelyo]

I think it’s time I gave vegetarianism a try

[Michael @itsmichaelyo]

I am looking for a girlfriend

[Michael @itsmichaelyo]

Out with the old and in with the new

[مريم حسنا @Maryamhasnaa]

Sometimes you won’t realize someone isn’t really on your side because you didn’t realize it was still about sides.

[Michael @itsmichaelyo]

I spend too much time on Twitter to not be tweeting

[Michael @itsmichaelyo]

@SpicyKoreanQ Loyalty is a 2 way street

[Michael @itsmichaelyo]

I love a long drive

[Michael @itsmichaelyo]

Gotta keep it moving

[Michael @itsmichaelyo]

@beandipew What if they're all tuff 🥴

[Michael @itsmichaelyo]

Does anyone else take off their shirt to poop or...?

[Michael @itsmichaelyo]

Let's stop and smell the flowers, maybe you could show me how

[Michael @itsmichaelyo]

Getting ready