its_all_sexy_to_me

I can say the alphabet backwards. ✊🏿✊🏾✊🏽✊🏼✊🏻

[its_all_sexy_to_me @ItsAllCrazyToMe]

Jokes about erectile dysfunction aren't that hard

[its_all_sexy_to_me @ItsAllCrazyToMe]

@HowardStern for president 2028.

[its_all_sexy_to_me @ItsAllCrazyToMe]

Missed connection: I should have punched you in the face when you told me how you’d love to rub my sexy back but your wife is here as you left the restaurant

[its_all_sexy_to_me @ItsAllCrazyToMe]

If you know all the words to “we didn’t start the fire”, it’s probably time for a colonoscopy

[its_all_sexy_to_me @ItsAllCrazyToMe]

Please label your Halloween pics. I can’t tell wtf Suzy is in her slutty black dress

[its_all_sexy_to_me @ItsAllCrazyToMe]

I’ve been working out for 25 years and you are the first people I’m telling about it so there’s that

[its_all_sexy_to_me @ItsAllCrazyToMe]

People who hum while they work around other people are the real enemies

[its_all_sexy_to_me @ItsAllCrazyToMe]

Burning man is my Roman Empire

[its_all_sexy_to_me @ItsAllCrazyToMe]

GPS has shown me I have grossly underestimated 800ft

[its_all_sexy_to_me @ItsAllCrazyToMe]

Idk if chivalry is dead but it definitely seems to be on an extended vacation

[its_all_sexy_to_me @ItsAllCrazyToMe]

Do people who scribble out faces on dating apps even know about cropping?!

[its_all_sexy_to_me @ItsAllCrazyToMe]

@IsisIrisimawake Apparently a girl cartoon character but to me she is always a cat

[its_all_sexy_to_me @ItsAllCrazyToMe]

I was today years old when I learned hello kitty is not a cat

[its_all_sexy_to_me @ItsAllCrazyToMe]

What exactly is my printer busy doing if not printing my stuff

[its_all_sexy_to_me @ItsAllCrazyToMe]

Fuck yes energy seems like a lot of work

[its_all_sexy_to_me @ItsAllCrazyToMe]

Me: I want to eat healthier and lose some weight

Also me: eats McDonald’s cheeseburgers at 10 o’clock

[its_all_sexy_to_me @ItsAllCrazyToMe]

This is your brain on technology

*75 tabs open at any moment

[its_all_sexy_to_me @ItsAllCrazyToMe]

St. Patty’s day is my favorite drinking holiday

[its_all_sexy_to_me @ItsAllCrazyToMe]

Stereograms
Who remembers these
What do you see

[its_all_sexy_to_me @ItsAllCrazyToMe]

Why are my nipples itchy

[its_all_sexy_to_me @ItsAllCrazyToMe]

I’ll show you my hinge if you show me yours