Its Not The Onion

Real headline from real news sources. It's not the Onion!

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Woman comes clean for stealing soap 18 years later https://t.co/toDrCidxh4 #nottheonion

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Couple Mistakenly Goes to See Red Hot Chilli Pipers https://t.co/cC9TTp4xcI #nottheonion

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Moscow mulls naming a street 'North American Dead End' https://t.co/ceIxb2WY1t #nottheonion

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Iran Says Enemies Used Lizards to Spy on Nuclear Program https://t.co/Xk1Pg8Tssr #nottheonion

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Cottagers were high from pot brownies, not suffering carbon monoxide poisoning: OPP https://t.co/u4Lm6f9SDH #nottheonion

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No time for Ash Wednesday? Try 'drive-thru ashes.' https://t.co/SprhmGbmuo #nottheonion

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Lasers, pyrotechnics used in battle against 30K crow invasion https://t.co/fVS6n8cdiH #nottheonion

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Suspected carbon monoxide symptons were actually from weed brownies: police https://t.co/iAiWessUhh #nottheonion

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Cockroaches crawling on dead woman in retirement center draws license review https://t.co/mv1wGqwret #nottheonion

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Thomas the bisexual goose dies in New Zealand https://t.co/Ow1eZaYzIz #nottheonion

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What's Better Than the Card Game 'Uno'? According to Mattel, a New One Called 'Dos' https://t.co/2hO0BPFelK #nottheonion

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'Time traveller from 2030' passes lie detector test https://t.co/lyrWATL1Sm #nottheonion

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Portugal police 'find cocaine in travellers padded pants' https://t.co/sOOGRHYX8m #nottheonion

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So...someone vaped a tide pod https://t.co/irB8daHQx2 #nottheonion

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In pictures: Couple hid home from the council with fake garage door https://t.co/Wd9iziT7XM #nottheonion

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Cottagers were high from pot brownies, not suffering carbon monoxide poisioning https://t.co/Pxy66y32Dq #nottheonion

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Chicago TV station mixes up P.F. Chang's and Pyeongchang in Winter Olympics graphic https://t.co/qhTJQ8597e #nottheonion

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Couples Sells Everything to Buy Boat and Sail for a Year... and it Sinks Day Two https://t.co/DXVQnDcQmK #nottheonion

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Couple mistakenly takes romantic trip to see Red Hot Chilli Pipers, not peppers https://t.co/nC98HFQctt #nottheonion

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South Korea's 'Penis Park' Draws an Olympic Crowd https://t.co/DZu2XDzhTH #nottheonion