Chris Berthelsen

Writer. Disturbed by the arrogance in that. Prefer the violent augur of my username over the egocentric.

[Chris Berthelsen @IwriteI]

@hwinkler4real The director of Chicken Run: Pollo 13.

[Chris Berthelsen @IwriteI]

@blkblssm There is no perfect line, because words deceive. The only perfect line is a demonstration of ability: stand at the bar, licking your eyebrows.

[Chris Berthelsen @IwriteI]

The one military tactic Putin can't defend against: The Big Mac Attack! #BigMacAttack #ShchenevmerlaUkrainy

https://t.co/08GgAn93Uu

[Chris Berthelsen @IwriteI]

@5centmichael @HamillHimself Disgusting---everywhere they go, they drive house prices down.

[Chris Berthelsen @IwriteI]

@NVIDIAGeForce @TheMatrixMovie #TheMatric You've been living in a dream world, Neo.

[NVIDIA GeForce @NVIDIAGeForce]

THIS PC IS NOT A DREAM and you could WIN IT!

To celebrate @TheMatrixMovie we challenged modders to create their own custom GeForce PCs inspired by The Matrix 👀

Entering is easy:

🟢 RT this post
🟢 Comment #TheMatrix

[Chris Berthelsen @IwriteI]

https://t.co/6PYXH52Fhy

@nypost Would you trust a news source that can't tell the difference between millions and billions?

[Chris Berthelsen @IwriteI]

@joechoui You captured their voices perfectly--which makes the occasional skews and zings that break their reality all the funnier. And all the more poignant.

[Chris Berthelsen @IwriteI]

@Teitur Congratulations! I have followed and bought your music since Great Balls of Fire first boggled my mind. I hope you use your newly conferred nobility to speak out against the slaughter of #FaroeIslands dolphins.

[Chris Berthelsen @IwriteI]

I have long celebrated my #DanishHeritage, but I pray #Denmark will speak against the #FaroeIslands brutal slaughter of 1428 dolphins, driven terrified onto the killing fields of blood drenched beaches. Seafood? No, blood lust. #tEitUR, you were just knighted. Please act nobly.

[Chris Berthelsen @IwriteI]

@mitchellreports @StateDeptSpox @StateDeptSpox so tone deaf he brags about all we've done for Afghanis when asked about beheadings and the rape of women. Who do you think wins when you pit rhetoric against rape? "We won't recognize their government "emerges as "Taliban? What Taliban?" Shame.

[Chris Berthelsen @IwriteI]

@thereidout Nominated for *The Absolute Worst*: Republicans demonstrating their piety by opposing masks in schools, resurrecting the religious practice of child sacrifice. When Jesus said "Suffer the children to come unto me", THIS ISN'T WHAT HE MEANT!

[Chris Berthelsen @IwriteI]

The Feige Dilemma. #MCUPhase4 #Multiverse #Marvel #LokiFinale

[Chris Berthelsen @IwriteI]

@HamillHimself Lil' Jedi, send a virtual box of cigars and bottle of Scotch to Jim Garner for knocking you off the ratings. Surely he was spiritual godfather to Han Solo, between Maverick and The Americanization of Emily: "God save us from people who do the morally right thing."

[Chris Berthelsen @IwriteI]

@HouseJudiciary @RepSwalwell Through personal appearances and constant tweets, Trump groomed rioters just like a pedophile grooms a child--he preyed upon their fears and manipulated their hopes in order to bend them to his will. #TrumpPedophileTactics

[Chris Berthelsen @IwriteI]

@NationalHempDay It's National Hemp Day! Celebrate the all-natural source of rope, welcome mats, CBD oil and cover stories for when your mom discovers the stash of ganja you blow every night! Don't wimp--go hemp!

[Chris Berthelsen @IwriteI]

#NationalShempDay It's National Shemp Day! Celebrate your favorite forgotten Stooge with a Hee Bee Bee Bee! and a Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk! as we--what? Wait...oh. You're sure? Uh, okay...

[Chris Berthelsen @IwriteI]

@josepalpizar What did you learn? What kind of person did it help you become? What did it open your eyes to that no one else sees quite the same way? A BFA isn't who you are, merely something you once did among many, many things you've done. Where you go now with all those tools--wide open.

[Chris Berthelsen @IwriteI]

@SpeakerPelosi Nancy: all that stands between us and the angry mobs!

[Chris Berthelsen @IwriteI]

@GenericBologna Turtles all the way down.