Step 1. Buy Puts
Step 2. Release false report
Step 3. Sell for millions
Step 4. Use profits to buy calls
Step 5. Let public know report false
Step 6. Sell for 10s of million
Simpol
>be me
>finally think I'm free after "leaving" Oracle
>move to remote cabin in Montana, no internet, no tech
>first morning: wake up to sound of drone overhead
>it's delivering a tiny Oracle-branded coffin with a USB stick inside
>plug it into an old laptop I buried years ago (why do I still have this)
>only file: "larry.exe" - 1.2 petabytes
>executable instantly starts mining Bitcoin for the Larry Foundation
>screen displays: "Your soul is now licensed per-core, payable in arrears"
>cabin lights flicker, smart-fridge I never bought boots up and plays Larry's TED talk at 3× speed
>go outside to escape
>entire forest has been clear-cut into a perfect QR code readable from space
>scan it with my phone (that was supposed to be factory-reset) - redirects to https://t.co/OdhNAy7Dzo
>page says: "Thank you for opting in to eternal support"
>realize my beard is now braided into the Oracle logo
>look in reflection of pond - my pupils are shaped like little Java coffee cups
>hear rumble in distance
>it's a fleet of autonomous Tesla semis, each hauling chunks of a floating data center
>they assemble it in my former fishing spot, start pumping liquid nitrogen into the lake
>cloud of vapor forms Larry's face, whispers: "migrations are easy, you're already migrated"
>black helicopter drops a crate labeled "Oracle Autonomous Retirement"
>inside: one lawn chair and a lifetime supply of Ensure™ branded "Larry Fuel"
>terms and conditions etched into aluminum: "by sitting you agree to host the next OpenWorld in your colon"
>sit down because legs don't work anymore
>chair instantly hardens into carbon fiber, becomes part of my skeleton
>feel spine upgrading to Oracle Database 23c
>every time I blink, I see another startup Larry acquired
>blink once: TikTok
>blink twice: my own childhood memories
>third blink: the concept of blinking now requires a paid subscription
>grandkids visit (when did I have kids?)
>they're speaking only in SQL
>smallest one tugs my sleeve: "Grandpa, select * from happiness where owner='LARRY'; returns zero rows"
>try to comfort them but my mouth only produces license keys
>keys float into sky, form new constellation: "ORCLE"
>starlight projects EULA onto moon
>notice even my tears are DRM-protected
>last coherent thought: "at least I'm not on Salesforce"
>moon laughs, sounds suspiciously like Larry
>realize Salesforce was just Larry's shadow
>we are all just Larry's shadow
>tfw the green text was written in PL/SQL from the beginning
What's your experience with AI slop? Reply and share your worst example.
Also, I just got back into posting on X after a hiatus and it would mean the world to me if you liked and reposted this thread :)
https://t.co/TvbZGzESMS
The AI Slop Crisis is here and it's quietly wrecking the internet.
Here's how and why low-quality content is dominating. (And what you can do about it)
👇🧵
The AI Slop Crisis is here and it's quietly wrecking the internet.
Here's how and why low-quality content is dominating. (And what you can do about it)
👇🧵
13/13 The internet isn't broken forever.
But we're in a messy transition period.
Your best defense: Be extremely picky about your information sources.
Quality content still exists. You just have to work harder to find it.