shizzy mcreepy

gods perfect hand holding machine

[LVL @misslindsayv]

Happy pride, babes

[horse dentist @equine__dentist]

mmmm whole wheel of cheese 🤤

[Leonid @politbureaucrat]

After Marx's passing the communist movement should've adopted "Karl" as a title like "Darth"

[Bob Golen @BobGolen]

I keep getting etymology and entomology confused.

Words cannot describe how much this bugs me.

[Softboy☄️ @softboywin]

When someone’s email address isn��t @ gmail it’s like wow you are one interesting chica

[Christopher @molochofficial]

all pretense of taste and discernment leaves my body when I hear a pop-punk cover of a popular song from another genre

[𝔙𝔞𝔪𝔭 @bIoodFr4ak]

any minor irritation & i start having inner monologues like in death note

[picardie aurora @picardie_aurora]

[ in a world where we intuit that numbers are soft and not crunchy ] lemme just smoosh the numbers real quick

[garshmo @garshmo]

It used to be March 1st it really did

[barrel rolls @barrel_rolls]

dying in a freak build a bear accident

[𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖑𝖞❤️‍🔥 @Charlygotyou]

can’t be sexting when you’re somewhat articulate. you just sound like a vampire

[rune sword @runesword1]

my halfwitted homunculus: da world work in mystrius way :)

me: would you just shut the fuck up for once? would you please just shut the fuck up?

[beef clapton: soldier of fortune @thetrompwner]

don draper: i have nothing, my whole life is a hollow shell of misery

me age 17: if i start smoking lucky strike cigarettes and drinking rye whiskey they'll give me a secretary to marry

[Jett 🜲 @iky_fwjett]

i don’t think i could handle looking at a chihuahua if i was on acid

[wicked wigger of the west @Nick_Cerveza]

I just have to look at my phone a little bit more and something incredible will happen

[꩜ @adorewordss]

another day of feeling slightly nauseous and weird about everything

[Ms.K @mskmalibu]

sorry i can’t come my clothes look stupid on me

[rawria @camcorderghosts]

Before and after smoking my gummy bear cigarette

[emma 🎥 @emmadein2000s]

me: you gotta watch yellowjackets its so good
alien that lives in my house: oauaoaouaaoau "Dyke" ouaoauoao
me: Who taught you that