I'd like to formally congratulate the Toronto Maple Leafs for winning the 2020 Stanley Cup.
Unfortunately, teams like the TAMPA BAY LIGHTNING tried to STEAL the Cup, by continuing to count WINS after my subjective deadline of August 8th.
What a great day to be a Leafs fan.
Sources: Bronny has arrived in the bubble and will be staying with Lebron for the remainder of the playoffs. The source says Lebron could be heard yelling, “ADMIT IT, JR GAVE YOU THAT WEED!” outside his hotel room.
God only brought one guy back from the dead on Easter. Trump is here to bring back the whole economy on Easter 2020. Enjoy this clip (possibly, like, the best ever), share and be sure to subscribe to Making Podcasts Great Again (@TrumpPod) - new every week!
The progression of Knicks fans:
“We’re getting Kyrie, KD and Zion let’s go! Knicks dynasty on tap!”
“That’s okay, we’ll get Kyrie, KD, and Anthony Davis.”
“Fine, we’re getting KD and Anthony Davis.”
“At least we’ll get Anthony Davis.”
“My name is Jake, and I’m an alcoholic.”