Jacob is very fruity 🏳️‍🌈

very fruity monger of fruits and vegetables | he/him | #Depressed/Anxious/ADHD | Cat Dad to Ricky 🐈 | Gay 🏳️‍🌈 | 30 | #TransRights | 🍉

[Jacob is very fruity 🏳️‍🌈 @JacobCWard]

@EliMcCann 🎶 How do you solve a problem like Mary Clarence? 🎶

[Jacob is very fruity 🏳️‍🌈 @JacobCWard]

@velvet_skeleton You might be on to something…

[Jacob is very fruity 🏳️‍🌈 @JacobCWard]

@poetickate But, might you become TOO powerful?

[Jacob is very fruity 🏳️‍🌈 @JacobCWard]

@LIFOMichaelCPA @nihilists4jesus True! I would never have known that it is apparently “Breast Augmentation Season” without the billboard I drove past in Lehi today.

[Percy Jackson @PercySeries]

A goddess will aid your quest in Season 3 of #PercyJackson and the Olympians.

🏹 Kate McKinnon is Aphrodite

[Jacob is very fruity 🏳️‍🌈 @JacobCWard]

@velvet_skeleton As we all should

[Jacob is very fruity 🏳️‍🌈 @JacobCWard]

Never in history has any artist contributed more to the genre of “songs for men to do cute little sexy dances to” than Sabrina Carpenter.

[Jacob is very fruity 🏳️‍🌈 @JacobCWard]

@Pandastarling39 Probably not, but the general vibe is fairly applicable most events of the last decade for sure.

[Jacob is very fruity 🏳️‍🌈 @JacobCWard]

@Pandastarling39 But that’s what your early twenties are for.

[Jacob is very fruity 🏳️‍🌈 @JacobCWard]

@Pandastarling39 You can say that again!

[Jacob is very fruity 🏳️‍🌈 @JacobCWard]

How do people make existing in the world look so easy? I’m just trying to get by, but somehow even my good moves end up screwing me over. I just updated my address with my insurance and somehow that means my monthly premium nearly doubles. I can’t keep up with it all. 😭

[Jacob is very fruity 🏳️‍🌈 @JacobCWard]

Growing trend? I thought this was the standard playbook.

[Jacob is very fruity 🏳️‍🌈 @JacobCWard]

Guess which dummy ordered himself a @tacobell breakfast and then proceeded to get distracted by work and forgot he’d ordered food until more than 2 hours later, at which time, his food, understandably had been discarded.
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If you guessed @JacobCWard, you win!

[Jacob is very fruity 🏳️‍🌈 @JacobCWard]

Printers, much like the Lord, work in mysterious ways.

[Jacob is very fruity 🏳️‍🌈 @JacobCWard]

@Pandastarling39 You got this!!!

[Jacob is very fruity 🏳️‍🌈 @JacobCWard]

Shout out to Fiddler on the Roof for rhyming “indigestion” with “question”.

[Jacob is very fruity 🏳️‍🌈 @JacobCWard]

Any heinous news out of the first two sessions I ought to be aware of?

[Jacob is very fruity 🏳️‍🌈 @JacobCWard]

I mean… they ain’t kosher, so like, it’s not wrong by certain metrics.

[Jacob is very fruity 🏳️‍🌈 @JacobCWard]

And?

[natalia @imniceandsmart]

Men who drink Diet Coke close the fridge with their hips

[Jacob is very fruity 🏳️‍🌈 @JacobCWard]

Why’d they block out the license plate? It’s a Cybertruck. The owner deserves to be identifiably shamed.