Bentzen.

Writer.

[Bentzen. @JacobHBentzen]

Friend, sobbing: English is just too hard, man.

Me, comforting: There, their, they're.

[Bentzen. @JacobHBentzen]

@MTanmiziAuthor Salut! Comment vas-tu?

[Manchester United @ManUtd]

Run. It. Back.

⏪ @Cristiano

#MUFC | #RonaldoReturns

[Bentzen. @JacobHBentzen]

@Skrux

[Bentzen. @JacobHBentzen]

@Skrux 👑👑👑

[Bentzen. @JacobHBentzen]

@TeamViewer @ManUtd cool

[J🐲C @thDRAGnrebOrN]

Self-care is better when someone else does it for you.

[Bentzen. @JacobHBentzen]

@alexxlayt @hm Hahaha, maybe you should get Ollie to buy a set from his collection?

[J🐲C @thDRAGnrebOrN]

Whenever I'm on NounHub, I prefer the amateur category over the pro.

[J🐲C @thDRAGnrebOrN]

[The reading of my will]

Attorney: For all gathered, it states: Now that you have a minute, let's discuss your extended warranty options.

[J🐲C @thDRAGnrebOrN]

This is my hamster wheel. Get your own.

[Bentzen. @JacobHBentzen]

Old hobbits die hard

[J🐲C @thDRAGnrebOrN]

I just can't believe God told Noah to put two murder hornets on the ark.

[J🐲C @thDRAGnrebOrN]

"This movie is intended for 18+ viewers." Bro, I don't have 17 friends to watch this with.

[J🐲C @thDRAGnrebOrN]

MC Hammer is short for Marine Coastal Hammerhead Shark.

[J🐲C @thDRAGnrebOrN]

Imagine you can't pay after the exorcism and you get repossessed.

[J🐲C @thDRAGnrebOrN]

The real pandemic is Christianity.

[Fabrizio Romano @FabrizioRomano]

Solskjaer just confirmed that Amad Diallo has received his passport: "We have had all the paperwork, I can't see any obstacles. He’s coming. Hope very soon he will be with us. Very excited to have him in. He'll need time to develop”. 🔴 #MUFC @Amaddiallo79 @lauriewhitwell

[Nostradadmus @bigpoppadrunk]

If you've ever had a toddler sneeze in your mouth, then you shouldn't worry about what's in the vaccine