Hipster J.A. Happ

I was traded to the New York Yankees before it was cool.

[Hipster J.A. Happ @JAHappster]

Mainstream recognition.

My worst nightmare come true.

[Hipster J.A. Happ @JAHappster]

#PitchersWhoRake

[Hipster J.A. Happ @JAHappster]

My changeup is like a five-year-old parody account about hipster jokes - it starts fast then abruptly runs out of steam.

[Hipster J.A. Happ @JAHappster]

@BlueJayHunter clearly a typo

[Hipster J.A. Happ @JAHappster]

@Minor_Leaguer I save my emotions for my songwriting.

[Hipster J.A. Happ @JAHappster]

The only trade from Brewers I wanna hear about this time of year is my fair trade coffee brewer.

[Hipster J.A. Happ @JAHappster]

There's already been enough Blisters In The Sun for one pitching staff, thanks. https://t.co/cXXZGKwVPV

[Exclaim! @exclaimdotca]

Follow + RT to WIN a pair of tickets to see Violent Femmes this Saturday at Massey Hall. More info/tickets here: https://t.co/WpVF30Ubem

[Hipster J.A. Happ @JAHappster]

This offseason has felt like a blur - mainly because I've been on a non-stop acid trip in the Gobi desert since November - but I'm back!

[Hipster J.A. Happ @JAHappster]

I like my World Series odds the same way I like my jeans:
incredibly slim, but still totally pulling it off.

[Hipster J.A. Happ @JAHappster]

Here's a photo of my latest art gallery exhibit. I only know how to paint the corners.

[Hipster J.A. Happ @JAHappster]

Having my pregame brunch & beer, ready to go. Haven't looked forward to a crowd full of sad Texans like this since Bon Iver played SXSW.

[Hipster J.A. Happ @JAHappster]

TIME TO POP SOME BOTTLES OF CRAFT BEER!

[Hipster J.A. Happ @JAHappster]

Facing my old team tomorrow. You can call me Frances Farmer, cuz I will have my revenge on Seattle.

[Hipster J.A. Happ @JAHappster]

You noticed I put a little something extra on my fastball last night? That was me channeling my anger over missing TIFF.

[Hipster J.A. Happ @JAHappster]

I submitted the sound of my fastball hitting the glove to Pitchfork. They gave it a 7/10 and called it "blistering with lo-fi pop euphoria".

[Hipster J.A. Happ @JAHappster]

There are a bunch of good teams in the National League, but not many bands are in The National's league.

[Hipster J.A. Happ @JAHappster]

I hope they make a bobblehead for me. Arms perfectly still, emotionless face, head nodding gently - captures exactly how I dance at shows.

[Hipster J.A. Happ @JAHappster]

You can call me Univision, 'cuz I woke up this morning ready to own a struggling New York institution full of 20-somethings.