Jake Berman

if you see this and you know me, no you don’t

[Jake Berman @JakeBerm]

Shoot for the stars and get hit by a meteor or whatever that one guy said

[Jake Berman @JakeBerm]

Whenever I feel any sort of self doubt I just tell myself Bam Adebayo scored 83 and all my worries melt away bc if he can do it so can I

[Jake Berman @JakeBerm]

@NOTaidanbeans @SleeperHeat

[Jake Berman @JakeBerm]

Yo @NBA2K when we getting eras mycareer

[Jake Berman @JakeBerm]

can someone make a cover of shboom but it’s with the italian brain rot tung tung sahur?

🎶 tung tung sahur
tung tung sahur
tung tung tung sahur 🎶

[Jake Berman @JakeBerm]

Am I crazy or is smoky not spelled smokey (this makes no sense but like yk?)

[Jake Berman @JakeBerm]

Best thing to come out of modern social media is people calling cats cars. Nothing makes me giggle like that

[Jake Berman @JakeBerm]

every time i smoke i suddenly have this void that can only be filled by videos of dancing fruit

[Jake Berman @JakeBerm]

hey man sorry i’m late i was scraping the on sale sticker off ur gift

[Jake Berman @JakeBerm]

i want to open a jewish bakery and call it the cinnagogue

[Jake Berman @JakeBerm]

taylor swift makes music for girls that give teethy head

[Jake Berman @JakeBerm]

Me after eating a girl out: my compliments to the chef *burps so unbelievably loud*

[Jake Berman @JakeBerm]

yogurt flavour idea: raspberry and blasphemy

[Jake Berman @JakeBerm]

i don’t understand quiche

[Jake Berman @JakeBerm]

What’s ur go to white people food you grew up with bc like mine was hamburger and rice. All it is is just ground beef with onions and seasoning on top of rice w like canned corn. Fucking shmacks

[Jake Berman @JakeBerm]

@ChipotleTweets Lactose intolerant

[Jake Berman @JakeBerm]

@NBA2K_MyTEAM Give us a Queen Elizabeth 99ovr PG card

[Hard of Hearing Hype Man @datkobrand]

Joey Chestnut just choked tf out of a protester. U! S! A!

[Jake Berman @JakeBerm]

#NewProfilePic

[Jake Berman @JakeBerm]

Nobody can tell me that the ending of the cold open to the first episode of #MoonKnight isn’t just a window shaped like a giant cock and balls