Jake M Caulfield

fuck a doo doo

[Jake M Caulfield @JakeMcaulfield]

I’m thinking a bobble head where instead of the head shaking the ass does. An undeniable hit. If only I had the infrastructure to produce such a thing. This could be the idea to take me out of poverty. What a shame.

[Jake M Caulfield @JakeMcaulfield]

Went to the river today. Lathered up all but the backs of legs in sunblock. My poor skins sizzlin’. Oh well, you live and you burn

[Jake M Caulfield @JakeMcaulfield]

I’m sitting in the living room shirtless eating pizza, I like this shirt and I like this pizza, watching a new TV show I think I’ll quite like. The cats on the window sill watching the birds and enjoying the breeze. Lovely just lovely

[Jake M Caulfield @JakeMcaulfield]

@FuckkRay_ Wow

[Jake M Caulfield @JakeMcaulfield]

@3rdsprouse Next time I'm gonna ask them about school

[Jake M Caulfield @JakeMcaulfield]

Does anyone enjoy the dentist?

[Jake M Caulfield @JakeMcaulfield]

@colbyjansen28 You get excited to go?

[Jake M Caulfield @JakeMcaulfield]

@colbyjansen28 Aight but do you enjoy it tho? The whole experience

[guelph @guwop]

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im droppin dick off

[Jake M Caulfield @JakeMcaulfield]

@elonmusk can I have a couple milli to start the first 24hr nonstop roller coaster experience

[Jake M Caulfield @JakeMcaulfield]

They should make escalators go a lot faster. Would make malls more exciting and all the people who sit in the chairs will have a place where they can go try to kill themselves

[Jake M Caulfield @JakeMcaulfield]

Been falling asleep fully clothed recently because I want to stay drippin 24fuckin7

[Jake M Caulfield @JakeMcaulfield]

Technically speaking, babies are dumb as fuck.

[Jake M Caulfield @JakeMcaulfield]

I always twist and tuck my loaf when I'm done. #keepyourloafsafe #fuckthelilclipthingialwayslosethatshit #whatsgoodeverett

[Jake M Caulfield @JakeMcaulfield]

I got 99 yeast based foods and they all loafs. #loafforlife #yeastmode #jayzfeelsmethemostonthisone

[Jake M Caulfield @JakeMcaulfield]

I keep the heater on my cuz sometimes a slice needs to be toasted. #loafproblems #itbeyourownslice

[Jake M Caulfield @JakeMcaulfield]

Your loaf doesn't always come sliced. Sometimes you gotta cut it your self. #youneedtocutit #frenchpeoplefeelmethemostonthisone #loafgang

[Jake M Caulfield @JakeMcaulfield]

Facts (.)

[Jake M Caulfield @JakeMcaulfield]

@zachlinder13 @3rdsprouse If she doesn't fuck with the big lez show you know what you have to do