James Gatz

[James Gatz @JamesGatz69]

So all these bullshit superhero movies, how come there ain’t no REAL Batman. No one stopped my ass from getting raped in Central Park.

[James Gatz @JamesGatz69]

They say that the Nazi’s invented a gas during the final days of WWII that would turn enemy soldiers so incredibly GAY that they would fuck each other into submission, rendering them ineffective in combat. Shit motherfucker, where’s my time machine? #guypearce

[James Gatz @JamesGatz69]

Which movie version of the Mummy do you think would win in a fight? Didn’t see either one, but I still gotta think Fraser’s ass would take Cruise, even if they both wrapped the fuck up in bandages. #atreallifecelbritymonsterfights

[James Gatz @JamesGatz69]

My problem with false rape allegations is not the men it affects, nor that it distracts from legitimate claims by women. Rather that it distracts from the real crisis affecting this country, #ghostrape.

[James Gatz @JamesGatz69]

They say that during the French Revolution toute le monde had boners when they got their heads chopped off. I bet Maximillian Robespierre was hung as fuck. #staywokecomrades

[James Gatz @JamesGatz69]

This ain’t my clown ass fucking around. My top three monsters are Dracula, and Tyler Perry in that new movie he has coming out. #staywoke

[James Gatz @JamesGatz69]

People like to talk shit about Franklin Pierce’s presidency. Fuck that shit. My clown ass would take his fine ass to clown town. #havingsexwithpresidents

[James Gatz @JamesGatz69]

So it’s fine for Tom Mother Fuckin Cruise to be the last samurai and all that bullshit, but Willem Defoe tries to be a vampire in that movie and all of a sudden he’s the bad guy. You see his dick? That shit’s woke as fuck!

[James Gatz @JamesGatz69]

Oscar season coming up. Everyone thinks my black ass gonna be rooting for Black Panther, but when a clown ass director gonna get the Oscar nod? Fucking Spike Lee didn’t do shit, I fucking hate that guy. #wokeasfuck

[James Gatz @JamesGatz69]

These mother fuckers pop out a third ass Grinch film and there still aint no California Raisins reboot. Carl Lewis must be spinnin’ in his mother fuckin’ grave.

[James Gatz @JamesGatz69]

What did Benjamin Franklin’s nerd ass do? Wasn’t president, didn’t actually invent electricity, and he was neither gay, nor black, nor a clown. Why we teach his ass is school? Stay woke!

[James Gatz @JamesGatz69]

@huffpostqueer That’s woke as shit! He should be a gay ass black clown too. There are dozens of us!

[James Gatz @JamesGatz69]

@huffpostqueer I know! As a gay black man, it’s like, this is almost 2019 (happy New Year y’all!) Stay WOKE!

[James Gatz @JamesGatz69]

Watched my ass that Interview With a Vampire bullshit. So it turns out that Brad Pitt and Tom mother fuckin’ Cruise are vampires the whole fucking time! Hello M. Night Shamala, there’s a new hat in the ring.

[James Gatz @JamesGatz69]

@dalehay Yeah, my clown ass got plenty of neighbors. Based on yo photo I think Anferny would be a good fit. I myself would not do him though, he tends to cry a lot.

[James Gatz @JamesGatz69]

This nigga’s clown ass is glad that Catalonia declared mother fuckin’ independence. I hope that the Irish follow suit and reclaim the island

[James Gatz @JamesGatz69]

My ass gave up cake for lent this year. So at my buddy’s birthday party I went into the kitchen and farted all over his cake.

[James Gatz @JamesGatz69]

Who do you niggas think would win in a fight? James Franco or Seth Rogan? Answers no one, because one would still be alive. Hopefully not.

[James Gatz @JamesGatz69]

I opened up my newest pack of 120 Days of Sodom cards. I got another Bum Cleaver. I already have four. This day could not get any worse.

[James Gatz @JamesGatz69]

You know what sucks about getting raped by a homeless guy in a back alley? Nothing!