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[stella🛍️🌸 @JamesLPatrick]

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[stella🛍️🌸 @JamesLPatrick]

@PastorMikeJr Sound like pastor 🤣

[Keith Battle @KeithBattle]

Are you willing to lay down your life for your wife?

[Good Morning America @GMA]

FULL INTERVIEW: Former NFL running back Chris Johnson reveals his ALS diagnosis at 39.

[Garth Gagnier @grrr22]

Dad: “Who touched the thermostat?”

Every sibling:

[Patrick Mahomes II @PatrickMahomes]

Man… Praying for CJ2K 🙏🏽🙏🏽

[Ray Mond @AmberRayz]

“you're not even watching the movie”

me: yes I am

[Chad Powers @dcfoodsafety]

Pointing out my cash tip to my server as I leave

[Zach Zimmerman @zzdoublezz]

when I see the slice of pizza in the case I want

[rnbmusic @rnbmusic]

If you recognized her immediately, your childhood was elite, That’s Tanya Blount from the Sister Act 2 🥹

[FDNY @FDNY]

when someone blocks a fire hydrant in New York City

[Josiah Johnson @KingJosiah54]

Argentina: “We need you to score some goals in the World Cup”

Messi:

[Overheard on Wall Street @OHWallStreet]

Opening up task manager as a threat when excel stops responding

[NBANEWS @SAmato78041]

🚨DEVELOPING🚨 The LA clippers are in active trade talks with the San Antonio Spurs that would send Kawhi Leonard to the spurs

MOCK

Spurs receive
-Kawhi Leonard
-Jordan miller
-2032 second

Clippers receive
-DeAaron fox
-Carter Bryant
-Keldon Johnson
-2030 1st

[seanfucious @Seanfucious]

My kids when they see me using my phone after telling them to get off their tablets:

[Samuel Njoku @RavensTalkPod]

Me in middle school when someone asked who farted knowing damn well it was me https://t.co/JzPVtp1EZZ

[CFO, Big Cat Corp @VPBigCatCorp_]

My wife riding shotgun when she sees brake lights a quarter mile ahead

[😼 @dutchessprim]

When I hear they voted MAGA while complaining about gas and grocery prices …

[Robert Griffin III @RGIII]

The Pastor when he sees you didn’t put any money in the tithes and offering bucket

[Samuel Sey @SlowToWrite]

My mom when the pastor preached about disobedient children.