🦉

I wanna Kung Pao kill myself

[SpongeBob @SpongeBob]

an oldie but a goodie

[Skoog @Skoog]

satan: hey

me: hey

satan: wanna do sex?

me: what? no!

satan: [takes off mask revealing he’s jesus] you passed the test buddy

me: thanks jesus

jesus: k but wanna do sex tho?

[John Kennedy @FrazzleMyGimp]

Doctor: your husband has a type of cancer that can only be cured by getting a trampoline

My wife: wh--

Me: [loudly] well if that's what u think doc

[Skoog @Skoog]

walking down the street when a man stops me. he pulls open his trench coat to show the largest knife i’ve ever seen. i pull open my sensible cardigan to show the largest baguette he’s ever seen. we nod at each other. game respects game.

[nile @nileandah]

tom holland and zendaya

[☆ ‧dreamboy·˟͙‧̩̥l @LilNasX]

my dumbass thought this said the nucleotide contains five-carbon, a nitrogenous base, adenine, one phosphate group, and the deoxyribose sugar which is joined to the nitrogenous base forming a deoxyribonucleoside called deoxyadenosine 😂😂😂

[Danny Deraney @DannyDeraney]

This. Not only proof of evolution, but proof animals are better than us.

Wait for it.

https://t.co/GiD7AwEIPl

[diana🩷 @Pockicchi]

im deadass when i say that this scene has legit made me cry every single time ive seen it

[Rosie Gold 💋SEEING HARRY AGAIN🪩 @tomisgolden]

THE MOST ICONIC SCENE OF THE WHOLE MOVIE INDUSTRY.
https://t.co/oWu0zTNfkG

[Funny Vines @FunnyViness]

What a time to be alive