Jasmin

[Marina Purkiss @MarinaPurkiss]

Unlike Pinocchio…

The more Sunak lies

The shorter his trousers get.

[Jasmin @Jasmin_Jepson]

@DavidLammy I have a 19 year old petrol car which is ULEZ compliant, so I'm unsure how your previous caller John, can tell just by the registration!

[Gary Lineker @GaryLineker]

Hate to disappoint the haters but it’s not me.

[Not Elon Musk @ElonMuskAOC]

I have a proposal for Mr. Zuckerberg…

Winner of our fight gets ownership of the other persons social media platform for 24 HOURS.

You win, you get Twitter.
I win, I get Meta.

Let me know.

Best,
Elon “your wife drives a Tesla” Musk

[Jasmin @Jasmin_Jepson]

@LBC @DavidLammy I bought my first home a year ago at the age of 24, on my own. It's only a one bedroom flat but it's in a south London borough and it means I'm on the property ladder early. I was especially proud as a black female too.

[Jasmin @Jasmin_Jepson]

@mrjamesob during lockdown I got a London job where I could WFH and saved enough money to buy my first home at 24.

[Jasmin @Jasmin_Jepson]

@LBC can't landlords just change the locks when their tenants are out?

[Ben Kentish @BenKentish]

Lots more Budget reaction coming up - join us from 10!

[Jasmin @Jasmin_Jepson]

@mrjamesob it's Fleetwood Mac, not Clapton!

[Gary Lineker @GaryLineker]

Well, it’s been an interesting couple of days. Happy that this ridiculously out of proportion story seems to be abating and very much looking forward to presenting @BBCMOTD on Saturday. Thanks again for all your incredible support. It’s been overwhelming.

[BBC Breaking News @BBCBreaking]

Prince Edward named as the new Duke of Edinburgh, the title formerly held by his father https://t.co/vCONPwJwVZ

[Jasmin @Jasmin_Jepson]

@MattWallace888 Yes

[Jasmin @Jasmin_Jepson]

Only now is it acceptable to put chocolate in the fridge

[Jasmin @Jasmin_Jepson]

All those paper straws for nothing 😤

[Emily Murnane @emily_murnane]

Just remembered how Kylie Jenner uses her private jet to make 3 minute flights

[Piers Morgan @piersmorgan]

*ANNOUNCEMENT*
Trigger warning: I’m back.. and I’m uncensored.
⁦@PiersUncensored⁩ 🔥🔥

[Red Hot Chili Peppers @ChiliPeppers]

“Black Summer” on @YouTubeMusic https://t.co/O3t8NXVrmN

[Jasmin @Jasmin_Jepson]

Spotted @Lizzie_McKenna1 from @bbcapprentice!! https://t.co/q90JWHnPyD

[The Prince and Princess of Wales @KensingtonRoyal]

Prince Harry has been to Nottingham many times before and is delighted to be introducing the city to Ms. Markle.

[Jasmin @Jasmin_Jepson]

@KensingtonRoyal Spotted @Lizzie_McKenna1 from @bbcapprentice!!

[NME @NME]

Noel Gallagher 'wants to put Liam and Donald Trump in driverless cars so they crash into each other' https://t.co/JJdTdUvS2G

[Jasmin @Jasmin_Jepson]

I've graduated with first class honours!