Moped Jones

My TL got way too political. Switching to comedy. Will follow comedians of all levels (professional to wannabe). Just want funny on my TL.

[Moped Jones @JasonWSchaver]

@andreax220 @WellsFargo should have an app that alerts you when Wells Fargo illegally signs you up for an account.

[Moped Jones @JasonWSchaver]

@TallentSam You should come to my little shit town that nobody comes to b/c you'd lose money.

Then I'd go.

[Moped Jones @JasonWSchaver]

I pee sitting down.

And if anyone had a problem with that I will fight them, as long as we're both sitting down. #BestLife

[Moped Jones @JasonWSchaver]

My impression of what the US has done to #Venezuela over the years.

[Moped Jones @JasonWSchaver]

@JohnStrandUSA This country was literally founded to escape religious persecution. We have no official religion, We also don't have an official language.

You people should read more.

[Moped Jones @JasonWSchaver]

@TRONSHOW @GodlyAction No and no.

Matthew wrote Matthew.

[Moped Jones @JasonWSchaver]

@GodlyAction Um, the chapters are literally named after the people that wrote them.

[Moped Jones @JasonWSchaver]

Isn't your pay check funded by socialism?

If you hate it so much maybe resign?

[Rep. Jim Jordan @Jim_Jordan]

Socialism doesn't work.

Defunding the police doesn't work.

An open border doesn't work.

Republicans WORK.

[Moped Jones @JasonWSchaver]

@okbutwhat_ @Jim_Jordan You use socialism now and don't even know it.

Schools, hospitals, roads, police, fire department, health insurance.

Sit the fuck down and enjoy your socialism.

[Moped Jones @JasonWSchaver]

@Jim_Jordan Socialism does just fine in the countries we don't try to exploit.

[Moped Jones @JasonWSchaver]

@TrappedInFlesh @PeruginiLinda @MAGAVoice careful! It's lazy to ask someone to show their work.

[Moped Jones @JasonWSchaver]

This dope thinks asking someone to back their claim is "lazy".

[Live from Liz Warren's teepee @LiveFromLiz]

Yes asking someone to think, do their research and provide counter evidence is just pure lazy...did you attend school or was everyday lick a dik day?

[Moped Jones @JasonWSchaver]

@LiveFromLiz You really thought this was RT worthy? lol

[Moped Jones @JasonWSchaver]

@minshin58 @Barb29540 @Maga_Trigger So they did what republicans always do?

How come it's okay when reps do that?

[Moped Jones @JasonWSchaver]

@barbcohen100 @Barb29540 @Maga_Trigger Crime was actually down.

[Moped Jones @JasonWSchaver]

@TheeRobsAlGhul @NatalieMc510 @Barb29540 @Maga_Trigger Another key word is "pandemic".

And it started in 2020 (actually 2019 in some places)

[Moped Jones @JasonWSchaver]

@petsbysimon @Maga_Trigger I can't stand trump, but shit sucked under Biden too.

You libs always at brunch when a dem is in charge.

[Moped Jones @JasonWSchaver]

@Maga_Trigger Yes, but it wasn't b/c of him.

But honestly, I've haven't noticed a difference. They are both garbage people and garbage presidents.

We had inflation under Biden, but the brunch dems didn't notice it until Trump. Prices were going up anyway.

[Moped Jones @JasonWSchaver]

@SlothInMirror @toxiccowboy1 He was actually 9 (it was a month before his 10th bday), but it's nice to see someone point this out. He looks young so I figured he had to be a child back then.

[Moped Jones @JasonWSchaver]

@toxiccowboy1 @8647FDJT I don't think anyone needs to "try harder" to deal with your stupid ass.

[Moped Jones @JasonWSchaver]

@GreatGrey @toxiccowboy1 @8647FDJT Also, he was 9 when 9/11 happened.