Jason Ziess

[turd @goonageddon]

i got a black buddy from high school that accidentally shot himself in the face and now he talks thru an ipad and he actually types out nigga it sounds so funny in the robot voice

[kelly @BoyYeetsWorld]

The cost of community is inconvenience I say to myself as I go to multiple events every weekend because I’m popular and cool as hell

[Patrick Casey @restoreorderusa]

JUUL 1 was crazy

[Kanye East @FuckedUpYogis]

NYC Incels be like I haven’t had sex in three weeks 😔

[skooks @skooookum]

the fuck you mean we left the percs at
hoyt-schermerhorn

[cynomel muncher @cynomel]

my buddy introduced me to a friend of his by saying “this guy has hated jews for longer than anyone I know”

[Jason Ziess @JasonZiess]

no, babe, I'm not conservative ijdgaf

[Mayor Zohran Kwame Mamdani @NYCMayor]

Benjamin Netanyahu is a war criminal.

[Jason Ziess @JasonZiess]

@magills_ The Substance is about Hillary Clinton

[Jason Ziess @JasonZiess]

@Trad_West_Art Did someone literally just copy the plot of better call Saul can't tell

[JT @jiratickets]

Guy who has a job he loves, a significant other, plentiful savings, contributes to his retirement fund, lives in walkable city, hangs out with his friends on the weekends, keeps in touch with his loving family, travels internationally 1-2 times a year, and exercises regularly

[birdbath @birdbath]

It's true, I explained she's my muse but was still placed on probation for stalking when in most eras prior it'd be seen as mere devotion by continuous proximity & I'd simply have to joust her brother, now I have to piss in a cup once a month & pretend I'm a born-again Christian.

[ℜ𝔞𝔢 @dystopiangf]

It’s foolish to deny that the world we know is crumbling. It’s even more foolish to deny that there is beauty & opportunity in the ending of something. There are seeds in the rubble

[Horned Sphere @Horned_Sphere]

If you’re around long enough people will start to hate you

[Donald J. Trump @realDonaldTrump]

Robert Pattinson should not take back Kristen Stewart. She cheated on him like a dog & will do it again--just watch. He can do much better!

[Mayor Zohran Kwame Mamdani @NYCMayor]

This weather is gross.

[𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖊 🕯 @atlanticesque]

"Why do people get mad when they're drinking but I don't want to?"

Because when we drink, it's a sign of mutual trust. We're all letting our guards down, loosening inhibitions.

Refusing to partake (without a good reason) makes one suspicious. "Why do you need your guard up?"