Julian Boardman

Let’s join the EU ffs

[carl 🥦 @NightlifeMingus]

the real question is how often in Nolan’s Odyssey we will see Matt Damon burn thigh bones wrapped in fat for the gods

[Melissa Reddy @MelissaReddy_]

Arne Slot is a Premier League title winner, yes, but the conditions for that triumph have disappeared.

There are mitigations, yes, but Liverpool are no longer a team to fear, they are deferential, and obliging to the most embattled of sides.

It’s not just the style of play that is unrecognisable, but what the team stands for, and how they are seen…

https://t.co/B7aeamowJj

[Katherine Argent @effthealgorithm]

Search is full of ads and wrong answers. Every other email is an ad. Prime Video charges you and shows ads. Paramount? Ads. Peacock? YouTube? Hulu? Ads followed by more ads. Netflix full of ads. Meta and X, every other thing is an ad. Pinterest is nothing but ads. AI is in everything. AI finishes sentences incorrectly and won’t stop. AI reads your email and search history to target you with more ads. Every time you open an app or visit a site there’s an update making it worse. In a hurry? First, click here to agree to terms you don’t have time to read and must accept. You need an account to do that. Change your temporary password. Enter your 2FA code. Check your email and enter that code. Now use a passkey. Your password is too simple to remember. Change it. No, not like that. Now log on. Enter your 2FA code. Check your email for a code… Welcome back! We’ve updated our terms of service and privacy policy (you have none). Subscribe to the site. Subscribe to Netflix. Subscribe to toilet paper. Subscribe to these groceries. Pay a membership fee for the right to subscribe then tip your driver who delivers the subscriptions your membership lets you subscribe to. Time to work? We’ve got to update your laptop and will slow down everything you do until you agree to update. But first, click here to agree. Update installed — your laptop’s broken now. It doesn’t matter, since your boss just replaced you with AI. Go to your phone to complain on social media. Wait, your phone needs an update so we can add more AI. Click here. Oh sorry, your phone can’t handle this update. Now it’s useless. Go get the newest phone. Here’s a text from a friend, an email, a voice mail they left three days ago but you didn’t see until now because of sync problems with the cloud. It’s their GoFundMe. Their MLM. Their Patreon. Never mind, you didn’t respond to their text within 9 minutes and now you’re no longer friends. They blocked you. Make new friends. Download this app to find people in your area. In your neighborhood. On your street. Two doors down from you. Do you know this person yet, we think you’d get along. You need an account to use this app. That username is taken. Enter a password. Not that one, you used it on another site. You need to be connected to WiFi to download the app. Allow the app to connect to other devices on your network. Allow the app to access your contacts, know your precise location, store your credit card details. Oops, sorry, we got hacked now all that info is available on the web. There’s a class action suit. You can join. It’ll take a decade to get your $3.73 share of the ten billion settlement. We’ll send it via PayPal or deposit it to your bank, just tell us those details. Oh no, another hack. That info is circulating now, too. Here’s a spam call, a spam email, a spam text. Why are you angry? Why are you talking about getting rid of your phone? Why don’t you like AI, it lets us make all of this easier? Do you know how ridiculous that sounds? This is progress. You’ll be left behind. Do you want to be left behind? Do you???

[ISSPissTracker @ISSPissTracker]

DEEP DIVE INTO SPACE TOILETS

Urine and fecal collection on the first US manned spacecraft

The first two U.S. manned Mercury flights (Mercury-3: Alan Shepard, May 5, 1961; Mercury-4: Virgil Grissom, July 21, 1961) were short suborbital missions (15–16 minutes) with no urine or feces collection systems onboard.

[Tim Whitemore @TimWhitemore]

@AirbnbHelp Case A102264131: I am being pressured to accept a 'partial refund' for a stay in a demonstrably illegal, unlicensed listing despite irrefutable evidence of material misrepresentation...

@Airbnb #ConsumerRights #AirbnbScam #SafetyFirst 1/3

[🥤 @TheImmortalKop]

Leave us alone man

[Georg ‘Maverick’ Löfflmann @gloefflmann]

‘Why is headed for London?’
‘No idea, force of habit?’

[James Harkin @JamesHarkin]

Gunman to the KitKat lorry driver: 'How many fingers am I holding up?'

[alxndr @alexaldente]

The egg I’m poaching:

[- @AnfieldRd96]

Liverpool vs Tottenham on Sunday.

[George Wallace @MrGeorgeWallace]

Earlier I implied that I escorted yo' momma through the Strait of Hormuz. I apologize for the misinformation. Yo' momma's too fat for such a narrow passageway and whatnot.

[Matthew S. Robinson @robinsonishyde]

2026 Oscar Nominations as 30 Rock jokes. 🧵

F1

[Letters of Note @LettersOfNote]

Happy birthday to my favourite of all the haters, Charles Darwin

[Emma 💛💙🇩🇰🇬🇧🇪🇺 @MonkEmma]

Ok, let’s do this🙄

We’ll start with an explainer covering:

🕒What is a 15-minute city
🏫What on Earth is going on with Oxford
👽Where the conspiracy theories have come from

And then we’ll look at the Telegraph article

🧵
1/25

[Dudes Posting Their W’s @DudespostingWs]

This guy got a drone shot of Broadway in NYC after the snowstorm, set to Frank Sinatra. Unreal.

[Network Rail @networkrail]

1/12 This winter weather means #ice, #snow and questions like: “Why can’t trains just run on ice?” “Why doesn't snow cause disruption in other countries?”

So; boots and gloves on, let's dig into the drift – THREAD

[Cait Mercer @MercerCait]

Take care out there.

[Dr Helen Ingram @drhingram]

“I am the Ghost of Christmas Future Imperfect Conditional” said the Spirit. “I bring news of what would have been going to happen, if you were not to have been going to change your ways.”