@Jenn the fake fitness coaRch

Have my very own website dedicated to my daily bitching and nasty cooking, over at Parody account.

[@Jenn the fake fitness coaRch @JCoarch]

Miss ME yet?

[@Jenn the fake fitness coaRch @JCoarch]

@fauxmodoe @BernieSanders Nice try Beffus. Couple bottles of wine then sex with that disgusting piece of excrement husband of mine(not if I don’t get on air soon) That should cover most of it, I’ll get the rest in divorce. I will NEVER stop the #Treatyoself movement. #bottomsup

[@Jenn the fake fitness coaRch @JCoarch]

@fauxmodoe Blocked.

[@Jenn the fake fitness coaRch @JCoarch]

My home made grilled cheese. Inspired by Nickelodeon. #Disney #CallmeMartha #JDlovesit #HeyAndy

[@Jenn the fake fitness coaRch @JCoarch]

Todays authentic Covid levity tweet is aligned to you by ME. "You don't have to mow the lawn if you live in the big city. Like ME". #Selfsoothe #Findyourpassion #Icrackmyselfup #Iwantonair #ItsJenn

[@Jenn the fake fitness coaRch @JCoarch]

@fauxmodoe Great question. MY followers are the best. Simply go to your local Wendys and do the 5 for $5 deal. Be sure to dine in for the free refills. Oh and the aquafaba Chili is to die from... I mean for. Feel free to use your stimulus money over at BTR.
#MmmmmWendys

[@Jenn the fake fitness coaRch @JCoarch]

Back to me. My self care regimen you ask?? Downing bottles of wine, crushing cookie dough and avoiding my husband like the COVID. Honor your mood and eat that honey bun. Stay at home order??? Pffff go shopping. Remember you can get this kind of advice for only $300 at BTR.

[@Jenn the fake fitness coaRch @JCoarch]

I've seen lots of people selling classes and services (non which are as expensive or lax as mine) and it's BS. Why are these people trying to expose me when I'm in the epicenter of this pandemic? My safe space stress pot it boiling over. But @Andy thinks my decor is wonderful.

[@Jenn the fake fitness coaRch @JCoarch]

Their not JUST carrots. Their honey garlic butter roasted carrots. Get your shit together, small town. Ugh!

[@Jenn the fake fitness coaRch @JCoarch]

That local business love YO. It's a $55 Produce bowl. I'd appreciate if you basic poor fucks would stop calling it a salad. #Ieatseeds #Imbetterthanyou

[@Jenn the fake fitness coaRch @JCoarch]

@NBCNews This infuriates me, but I still go shopping daily. It’s imperative I get out for my Instagram and ego. My safe space now requires staying 10 feet away from all males. Never touch anything a male has touched and never ever talk to a male. #Imunchbox #Tankotime #Doitforthegram

[@Jenn the fake fitness coaRch @JCoarch]

Another Tanko take on the #TigerKing doc and the abuse. Every single person in it is a sick fuck, INCLUDING THE DIRECTORS. Forget the fact my husband paid webcam whores to have dogs lick peanut butter off their slots and I still pursued him. #Stalker #IneedthecreditcardJD 🏧

[@Jenn the fake fitness coaRch @JCoarch]

@Gluhwein How dare you. Blocked.

[@Jenn the fake fitness coaRch @JCoarch]

A little dindin I fixed up for the hubby and Mememememememe #bonappetit

[@Jenn the fake fitness coaRch @JCoarch]

Stoked for the @sternshow today. Maybe they’ll talk about Me.

[@Jenn the fake fitness coaRch @JCoarch]

@KABBFOX29 This is turning out to be a horrible month for Me. BTR sale starts tomorrow. #Ayyyyyy

[@Jenn the fake fitness coaRch @JCoarch]

@FOXBaltimore Can these less than fortunates not just order take out? And why are these billion dollar corporations still charging $ for necessities? #Bigcitygirl #Trustfundbaby #Bmore #Iwantmore

[@Jenn the fake fitness coaRch @JCoarch]

Always grinding. #Glunt #Fupa

[@Jenn the fake fitness coaRch @JCoarch]

@FOXBaltimore We must do more to protect our women and children from violent male drivers. Trust me, I'm a fitness coach.

[@Jenn the fake fitness coaRch @JCoarch]

In the next stimulus bill I demand the closing of zoos and big cat breeding... I also want more followers, likes, paying subscribers and a young UNKNOWN fitness coach to keep ripping off. Do it all for my peeps...
#Influencer #HowgreatamI #Stealitthensellittoyou