Jake Denotsko

Living the dream. White privilege, veteran's discounts, living off your taxes like a diseased Lotto winner. #striveforanonymity #killertermite

[Jake Denotsko @JDenotsko]

@elonmusk Will you bann me for wishing you dead?

Fucking hypocrite.

[Jake Denotsko @JDenotsko]

I'm sickened by the fan worship of billionaires.

If @elonmusk was worth his oxygen he would be human.

He's a shit stain in a suit.

A billionaire exists only through manipulation and lies.

[Jake Denotsko @JDenotsko]

@elonmusk But, then again betraying your whole fucking species is quite a baller move.

You do you. You sick fucking parasite.

[Jake Denotsko @JDenotsko]

I'm a 48 year old man driving my daughter's minivan.

Do I find out exactly where EMPTY is, or do I test the speedometer?

160?

Hold my beer

[Jake Denotsko @JDenotsko]

@JackAndDino Let's do it GoFundMe style.
Nominations are due on the 1st of the month.
Last day of the month, the top vote earner comes out short.

[Jake Denotsko @JDenotsko]

@Jamkle88 Are you fucking stupid or a bot?

[Jake Denotsko @JDenotsko]

@iBrettmypants But they unroll like an unfurled sail in the wind and get twisted around the pole.

2/10 wouldn't recommend

[Jake Denotsko @JDenotsko]

I just realized I missed veterans day!

Fuck my service bitches. I was poor once, but your always going to be a bootlicker.

[Jake Denotsko @JDenotsko]

@DougStanhope Something recent

[Jake Denotsko @JDenotsko]

@DougStanhope If I win I'll be in touch for ideas.

I'll even tell you before I tell my wife

[Jake Denotsko @JDenotsko]

I've lived by the motto of 'A Jack of all trades but the master of none is more often better than the master of one.'

I'm 48, have never even contemplated owning a slave, & yet I have never once been in a position to trade anything for a jack.

Literal or metaphorical

Bummer

[Jake Denotsko @JDenotsko]

@Huskyboyo He's a shit bot.

[Jake Denotsko @JDenotsko]

@saxxunderwear I think you could get more eyes on a commercial featuring a porn athlete.

A lot more people watch the sex athletics than NFL.

[Jake Denotsko @JDenotsko]

I'm willing to bet that being Canadian is a lot cooler than the rest of the planet is willing to admit.

[Jake Denotsko @JDenotsko]

I've been leaving America my whole fucking life. I was out of it before 9/11 & didn't return until 2012. I somehow found myself feeling patriotic until I came home to blue stripes & red hats.

Twitter is my last online thing.

I'm leaving it now too.

Fuck you all
Live well

[Jake Denotsko @JDenotsko]

Too soon old and too late smart.

[Jake Denotsko @JDenotsko]

Finding a Slinky for sale at Ollie's Discount Outlet for under $4 seemed like a good opportunity to share a moment with my grandson.

Nope.

Fucking thing is about a half inch short of walking down the stairs.

I assume the new guy was sure that he could save a penny per.

[Jake Denotsko @JDenotsko]

When was the last time you thanked Canada for the movie Brain Candy?

Fucking brilliant.

[Jake Denotsko @JDenotsko]

@WSILNews A irrationally rich asshole controls a platform that indoctrinates morons while idiots cheer.

Gotcha.

Now explain how WSIL is still relevant.

You gave up reporting real news back when Uncle Briggs was still cutting lines in Harrisburg.