Jeebus Krisp

Proud born again virgin. The nonbinary songbird of my generation. Recovering Andrew Garfield stan.

[Jeebus Krisp @JeebusKrispy]

Oh, you want me to go to work? On a Tuesday? You mean like the day that 9/11 happened? I think the fuck not.

[Jeebus Krisp @JeebusKrispy]

Actually, Sigourney Weaver was the name of the person who created the alien; the alien's name is never mentioned in the book

[Jeebus Krisp @JeebusKrispy]

Caught Elon slipping

[Jeebus Krisp @JeebusKrispy]

@Skoog When they are funny but like its also romantic

[Jeebus Krisp @JeebusKrispy]

@KrimsonKratos @TheRpgGuru And an even specialer place in his ass 🤤

[Jeebus Krisp @JeebusKrispy]

Currently feeling some kinda way that makes me wanna savor every moment slowly

[Jeebus Krisp @JeebusKrispy]

You think Wonder Woman ever used the Lasso of Truth while she was on patrol with the IDF? That would be pretty epic

[Jeebus Krisp @JeebusKrispy]

Smite players be like "yeah bro, it totally starts to be fun around minute 18 bro. Its fucking awesome bro"

[Jeebus Krisp @JeebusKrispy]

James Cameron really finished Titanic and thought "man, people really liked that I put tiddies in that one scene. What if I made a movie that had them in every scene" and then proceeded to spend the next 10 years working on Avatar

[Jeebus Krisp @JeebusKrispy]

@ElDuderino40 Blue Ass 😔

[Jeebus Krisp @JeebusKrispy]

@Utwitily I imagined draggin deez nuts across [choose your own adventure: A. ur mom; B. ur forehead; C. ur mom again, but with tender loving care]

[Jeebus Krisp @JeebusKrispy]

@jk_rowling

[Jeebus Krisp @JeebusKrispy]

@Rachuske I was rooting against capitalism the whole time, but it seems like the refs really wanted it to win 🤷🏽‍♀️

[Jeebus Krisp @JeebusKrispy]

@Rachuske Its over. Capitalism won, but it was a close match

[Jeebus Krisp @JeebusKrispy]

@TheoderWatts Thanks

[Jeebus Krisp @JeebusKrispy]

Happy National Drunk Driver Awareness Day! Be sure to send some love to the special booze cruiser in your life today

[Jeebus Krisp @JeebusKrispy]

Heterosexuality

[Jeebus Krisp @JeebusKrispy]

@Utwitily What if... you didn't have a choice 🔫

[Jeebus Krisp @JeebusKrispy]

@Wifesucker Back in my day we drank water out of the garden hose and we were allowed to use the f slur with childlike abandon

[Jeebus Krisp @JeebusKrispy]

@Utwitily No Fredo February 🚫🐵

[Jeebus Krisp @JeebusKrispy]

@Utwitily I've never played the series, so I'd recommend Yoshi's Island on Nintendo Gameboy Advance