Jenni Calvert

[Jenni Calvert @JenniCalvert_]

Absolute disgrace this, thrown over my garden wall in the rain. @AmazonUK

[Mr D @MrDuperouzel]

You've got to admire my confidence

Want to know EXACTLY how confident I am about this England team? 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

Read the first word of my tweets

[Jenni Calvert @JenniCalvert_]

@pashley_sam @Kamborghini_ @Triumphant 😮

[𝟐𝟐𝟐 ♈︎ @dannicharlie_]

As much as I’m grateful I’ve been able to work through this pandemic, “living” to just work isn’t sitting right with me rn

[SeaweedTea Drinker @BlondieAtlanta]

Somebody found this Corgi puppy laid out in a shop surrounded by claret. They thought he'd been attacked and was hurt and bleeding...

It turns out he'd eaten and entire jar of Jam and passed out on the floor in a sugar crash...😂😂😂

[hannah louise @hannahlouisef]

do I have covid or have I only consumed wine and carbohydrates for 8 days

[Jack Murphy 👑 @JackDMurphy]

The best thing I’ve learned this week is that when squirrels fall/jump - they land like superheroes

[marian @gayrauder]

it be like that sometimes

[Ricky Gervais @rickygervais]

I hope Kanye demands a recount.

[Nadia Whittome MP @NadiaWhittomeMP]

Rishi Sunak spent £500m on the "Eat Out to Help Out" scheme.

It costs around £20m to provide free school meals for a week.

There is money for half-price Nando's but there's no money to feed children?

[DiscussingFilm @DiscussingFilm]

‘Home Alone 2: Lost In New York’ star Donald Trump has tested positive for COVID-19.

(Source: @realDonaldTrump)

[Jenni Calvert @JenniCalvert_]

@pashley_sam I can see why this would be unheard of in London where a bag of crisps costs £20

[Jenni Calvert @JenniCalvert_]

Me when someone buys crisps for the table at the pub.

[Dick King-Smith HQ @DickKingSmith]

Studies have shown that listening to the sound of beavers enthusiastically munching on white cabbage can temporarily reduce stress levels by up to 17%.

[JONATHAN @Jonathzn]

if i were a boy - beyonce cover

[an angel that paints @fr0lique]

It’s so precious. Knows nothing. Not even abc’s. Just eat leaf.

[Jenni Calvert @JenniCalvert_]

My mother, whose favourite item of clothing for about 3 years was a grey t-shirt with a sequin bus on the front just had the CHEEK to say a dress I bought looks cheap.