Jenny Cyde

Total w⚓. Instagram: razbliuto__

[Jenny Cyde @JennyCyde]

@ChrisBarberi why do u hate me bc im left handed??

[Jenny Cyde @JennyCyde]

@joeldommett what is your favourite meal deal and why is is your favourite flavour crisps ready salted??

[𝓒𝔂𝓫𝓮𝓻 𝓥𝓪𝓰𝓲𝓷𝓪 @falleninlve]

When i catch mr vegas #BBUK

[Jenny Cyde @JennyCyde]

Not been on here for ages but I made this yesterday and it’s my favourite art thing I’ve done lately and possibly ever so I’m sharing it with the world 🥹🥰

[Jenny Cyde @JennyCyde]

@StephenMulhern had a dream last night you were my maths teacher and made me rip up my book 😤

[Jenny Cyde @JennyCyde]

@jamesmartinchef should have called it ‘James Martins adfrenchure’ 😤

[Jenny Cyde @JennyCyde]

@CalvinHarris a full brown suit would only be acceptable in the 80’s.

[MK202312 @MN456782]

Olivia is triggered inject it!!! #BBUK

[Jenny Cyde @JennyCyde]

@officialwed13 so I never got refunded from when you were supposed to play the Tiv in Buckley, but if you do a UK tour of murderdolls songs I’ll forgive you!
(Pls)

[Fesshole🧻 @fesshole]

My bf came home really late one night, front tooth broken and black eye. He told me he was giving a prostitute a piggy back and she fell and they crashed to the ground. He assures me there was no sex involved. It's such a ridiculous story I have chosen to believe it.

[Jenny Cyde @JennyCyde]

@RealPixelated @Chinchillazllla Replies like this are why I love twitter.
😅

[Jenny Cyde @JennyCyde]

@McDonaldsUK do a collab with Cheetos pls bc I need a McFlamin hot in me life okthnxbye

[Fesshole🧻 @fesshole]

My wife occasionally asks me, "What would you do if I died?" I don't have the heart to tell her that I've got a list in the Notes app on my phone.

[Fesshole🧻 @fesshole]

I keep the teabag in a cup of tea and when I'm finished I suck the teabag. I know it's weird and despite my family, girlfriend and friends all being disgusted I will never stop.

[Fesshole🧻 @fesshole]

My husband insists upon calling my penis a willy and it's completely killed our sex life.

[Jenny Cyde @JennyCyde]

@Skrillex hello drite wake.

[Jenny Cyde @JennyCyde]

Never have I felt such boredom. Wow.

[Fesshole🧻 @fesshole]

I'm a lawyer who deals in wills and probate, I never say bequeath and always say bequeef. It gives me so much joy while dealing with dead people's assets.

[Jenny Cyde @JennyCyde]

@JeremyClarkson I wanna throw my shit at you while shouting ‘S H A M E’. Misogynistic little blurt.

[Fesshole🧻 @fesshole]

My husband is forever cooking mediocre dishes then praising himself undeservedly. Just can't stand the cunt.