Jerry

The unofficial spoken word of the one, and only - Jerry.

[Jerry @Jerry_Said]

I once taught a wolf to meditate.

Now he’s aware wolf.

[Jerry @Jerry_Said]

Why did the snow plow ask for a raise? Because it’s just scraping by…

[Jerry @Jerry_Said]

Mountains are funny. In fact, they're hill areas.

[Jerry @Jerry_Said]

Why did the librarian get kicked off the plane?

Because it was overbooked.

[Jerry @Jerry_Said]

I was afraid to bring my child to work on Take Your Child to Work Day because I would have to rent a school bus.

[Jerry @Jerry_Said]

I stand behind Alec Baldwin...it's safer that way.

[Jerry @Jerry_Said]

I debated a flat earther once. He stormed off saying he’d walk to the edge of the Earth to prove me wrong. He’ll come around - eventually.

[Jerry @Jerry_Said]

Which cats love to be petted?

Purrrr-sians

[Jerry @Jerry_Said]

What did the turkey say before Thanksgiving dinner?

“I’m stuffed.”

[Jerry @Jerry_Said]

What time does Donald Duck wake up?

At the quack of dawn.

[Jerry @Jerry_Said]

What did the llama say it would bring for the field trip?

Alpaca lunch.

[Jerry @Jerry_Said]

Why is it hard to hire a clown?

They have big shoes to fill.

[Jerry @Jerry_Said]

Why was the fruit thrown in prison?

It was apri-caught stealing.

[Jerry @Jerry_Said]

Why do runners watch so much TV?

They love movie marathons.

[Jerry @Jerry_Said]

What does a spy do when he gets cold?
He goes undercover.