For almost two months, I was convinced my friend group had a separate group chat without me.
Plans would get mentioned casually, “oh yeah, like we said earlier”, and I’d just stand there like 🙂 earlier where? If I walked into the room and they stopped laughing, my brain immediately titled it: Season 2: The Quiet Exile. I started analyzing delivery times, inside jokes, who viewed my stories but didn’t reply. Every late response felt intentional. Every “we forgot to tell you” felt strategic.
One night I finally joked, “So what’s the name of the secret group chat?”
They all looked confused.
Turns out there was another group chat, but it was for planning a surprise birthday thing for me. The reason they’d go quiet? They were terrible at lying. The “earlier” conversations? About work, not me. The late replies? Two of them had just started new jobs and one was going through a breakup.
Meanwhile, I had already mentally written a betrayal arc, drafted my villain origin speech, and emotionally distanced myself for protection.
The stupidest part? Nobody was excluding me.
I was just overprotecting myself from a threat that didn’t exist.
That’s when I realized, sometimes the only person putting me on the outside… is me.
imagine telling all your trauma to someone you’re dating & they turn around and traumatize you the same way because they knew your weakness. this sounds like a nightmare
men underestimate a silent female. once your girl no longer trips over what you're doing and no longer tries to talk things out, she's done. the silence of a female means she has exhausted herself emotionally trying to get you to listen and you didn't. now she no longer cares.
according to psychology people who immediately go silent when something upsets or hurts them are experiencing a coping mechanism called emotional withdrawal. 1/2
My mother once said "when a guy likes you all you have to do is exist" and it's so real. why do you like your crush? usually they don't even do anything remarkable they just exist and you go feral. wait for someone who goes crazy for your mere existence.
ngl having people that love you is one thing. But having people who still love you when you’re a burden, when things are a mess, when you’re in the wrong…those are your people. to truly be loved is to still be loved when it’s inconvenient to love you.