Jess Cotto

Mass. Instagram: JessCottoo

[Jess Cotto @JessCottoo]

What’s the worst first pick of the first round in your draft you’ve ever seen?

Yesterday’s 1st pick: THE BEARS DEFENSE.

I swear it’s not a joke league…… I think.

[Jess Cotto @JessCottoo]

I’m coming out of retirement from this app to trash talk the absolute dumpster fire we call Mac Jones.

[Jess Cotto @JessCottoo]

I’m planning my sisters baby shower down to the most minuscule detail and I’ve realized that I’m a perfectionist for her in the most lovable, psychotic way.

[Jess Cotto @JessCottoo]

I think Kendrick Lamar single handily just brought brooches back

[Jess Cotto @JessCottoo]

Made my night seeing the Bengals win at Arrowhead 😌

[Pete Blackburn @PeteBlackburn]

I hope the Patriots have an Apple Watch

[Jess Cotto @JessCottoo]

“The last time the Patriots were this bad, I was in my Dads balls” -unknown

[Jess Cotto @JessCottoo]

I just went to let my dog out to use the bathroom and even if it was 20 degrees colder here... my legs would be moving faster than every defensive player on the Pats. What a disappointment.

[Jess Cotto @JessCottoo]

My biggest fault is that I want to give Christmas gifts the day I buy them to my people.

[Jess Cotto @JessCottoo]

Gruden.... bye son.

[Jess Cotto @JessCottoo]

Tom Brady is a fine wine.

[Jess Cotto @JessCottoo]

Football is back so... so are my tweets.

With that being said, are these guys trying to fight for their spot or just dehydrated or some shit? I’m trying to wrap my head around the lack of ambition.

[Jess Cotto @JessCottoo]

That dangling arm will give me nightmares 🥴

[Jess Cotto @JessCottoo]

This is the hype you need when you’re blessing your sister with the head to toe outfit you bought that she’ll try and borrow in a month 😅

[Jess Cotto @JessCottoo]

Cam just spilled the tea on my birthday gift and we’re seeing the one, the only, the greatest to ever do it, DAVE CHAPPELLE!! I jumped into his arms so quick from the top of the couch I am so so excited!

[Jess Cotto @JessCottoo]

I can’t believe it’s taken me this long to watch Dexter... I’ve been missing out BIG TIME.

[Jess Cotto @JessCottoo]

My brain trying to pick apart what my fantasy team will look like this year with the newcomers in this draft so far

[Jess Cotto @JessCottoo]

That was a tough fight to witness. Oh my god.

[Jess Cotto @JessCottoo]

Got a workout in, started my vegetable and herb garden, and completed three out of 5 window boxes today. Spring has spring and your girl is out of hibernation and happy 😊

[Jess Cotto @JessCottoo]

There is no comparison to the level of saltiness you feel when your sister doesn’t answer your FaceTime call. It’s not even an emergency, I’m just bored.

BUT HOW DARE YOU.