Jess

nope.

[Jess @JessDownSouth]

@WhitneyCummings @nealbrennan @kevingchristy @TheComedyStore Studz

[Jess @JessDownSouth]

Rest well knowing that I overanalyzed your choice of punctuation.

[Jess @JessDownSouth]

Baby Jesus is my neighbor.

[Jess @JessDownSouth]

Do not be alarmed. Its just a cast iron pan in a studio apartment.

-Current; also an existential metaphor.

[Jess @JessDownSouth]

Happy holidays the first man who lied to me about being able to come twice...
Jesus fucking Christ.

[Jess @JessDownSouth]

Having a jukebox war with the other bar patrons.
Its getting emotional.

[Jess @JessDownSouth]

"They make truck stops.. they need a ho stop. I cant just be out here anywhere"
- a ho that looked like Donald Faison, to me just now.

[Jess @JessDownSouth]

Your 140 characters dont mean shit when i feel good about myself.

[Just J @junejuly12]

Turns out Mona Lisa was smiling because she had just sent da Vinci a "u up?" 3 am text and found out that he was indeed, up.

[Jess @JessDownSouth]

Decorating my new apartment..

[Jess @JessDownSouth]

After 60 days in Seeley Lake, Montana, and almost 4 months of fire camps in cow pastures, we're finally going home. #riceridgefire #firecamp

[Jess @JessDownSouth]

I stared directly at the sun every day for a week and nothing happened.
-Rice Ridge Fire in MT.

[Lolo National Forest @LoloNF]

Over 135 miles of hose, 224 Mark 3 pumps, and 1094 sprinklers were used on the #RiceRidgeFire. The Montana... https://t.co/EfU5iRiaGb

[Jess @JessDownSouth]

Was catering to #firefighters on the Brian Head fire in Utah for the past 3 weeks. Just dispatched to Montana for the next one. #wildfires

[Jess @JessDownSouth]

You can tell a lot about a woman by the contents of her purse. In my boots: feet, socks, a Sharpie, a pocket knife, a lighter and a weed pen

[Jess @JessDownSouth]

Letting someone drive your car with you in it is like letting someone fuck your SO while you watch, if you're not into that sort of thing.

[Jess @JessDownSouth]

Time Saver: Add a wool sweater to your next dryer load and watch all your socks, underwear, and dog hair combine into one manageable ball!

[Jess @JessDownSouth]

I'm in a love samosa.

[Neal Brennan @nealbrennan]

Hey, my friends @michelleisawolf and @mattkoff had an incredibly dumb idea and this cup was… https://t.co/pW82CjAiNN

[Jess @JessDownSouth]

Can't tell if my neighbor is fucking or playing with a puppy on the other side of this privacy fence.