Not Jesse

Keeping it real since '96. Same shit, different day. Nothing changes but the leaves. Future entrepreneur.

[Not Jesse @Jesse_Mishler8]

Measure twice, cut once.

[Not Jesse @Jesse_Mishler8]

I've been considering getting a full size van for a daily driver so I can turn it into a road trip/camping machine. Kinda afraid I'll look like a pedo rolling around in a big ass Astro van tho.

[Not Jesse @Jesse_Mishler8]

Cigarettes are absolutely disgusting. It's 2019, just smoke some damn weed.

[Not Jesse @Jesse_Mishler8]

I have a serious love/hate relationship with my fucking subaru.

[Not Jesse @Jesse_Mishler8]

I was always told your presentation was important in an interview. I literally just watched someone walk in and get hired in a pair of fucking sweatpants. My life is a lie.

[Not Jesse @Jesse_Mishler8]

Ooh would ya take a look at the time! Yup. Time to get back on my bullshit. ⏳⌚

[Not Jesse @Jesse_Mishler8]

Damn.. sometimes I hate it when I'm right.

[Not Jesse @Jesse_Mishler8]

Struggling is bringing half a Jacks leftover frozen pizza to work for your lunch.

[Not Jesse @Jesse_Mishler8]

@madaxin Bad breath was pretty irrelevant lol

[Not Jesse @Jesse_Mishler8]

Fuck around too much, got stoned and ate an entire 8oz container of Aldi garlic hummus with pita chips. 😂

[Not Jesse @Jesse_Mishler8]

I really thought my boss was genuinely a pretty cool dude until today. It all changed when he made us listen to pop country for the past 4 fucking hours!

[Not Jesse @Jesse_Mishler8]

@levi_ordway Very accurate! Only thing is people have a choice of getting popcorn or declining it. Ya don't always get to pass on that hospital visit lol.

[Not Jesse @Jesse_Mishler8]

@levi_ordway Right lol. Dudes been trying to clear his throat for literal years now.

[Not Jesse @Jesse_Mishler8]

Literally watch this guy at work eat a Snickers and 16oz mountain dew every single day for lunch. How do people like this even survive?

[Not Jesse @Jesse_Mishler8]

@levi_ordway Still on his shit 😂

[Not Jesse @Jesse_Mishler8]

Got my first parking ticket this morning.. Fuck you and your poorly marked parking requirements, Kalmazoo!

[Not Jesse @Jesse_Mishler8]

Scrolling through the typical morning radio bullshit, and came across the Mac song Best Day Ever. Shits still getting to me dude...

[Not Jesse @Jesse_Mishler8]

I'll for real drive 10 miles out of my way just to shop at Aldi. Fuck a Wal-Mart and fuck a Meijers.