Jesse Potts

If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh. Otherwise they'll kill you.
-Oscar Wilde

[Jesse Potts @Jesse_Potts]

Guys: Watch and a wedding ring. That's all the jewelry you get without being a douche.

[Jesse Potts @Jesse_Potts]

"Go Ahead! Tell her you love her! She'll never do for you what I have!!! L"
-My Left Hand

[Jesse Potts @Jesse_Potts]

Friends: Hey Bud! How's it goin?

Best Friends: Hey Shit Head! How are things in Queerville, USA?

[Jesse Potts @Jesse_Potts]

I like seeing people riding motorcycles during the winter because it confirms that I'm not the worst decision maker of all time.

[Jesse Potts @Jesse_Potts]

Waiting til married to have sex is like waiting til you buy ice cream to purchase a freezer. Things are already ruined.

[Jesse Potts @Jesse_Potts]

I'm guessing Helen Keller's bush was a fucking disaster.

[Jesse Potts @Jesse_Potts]

Not gonna participate in Tur-Duc-Cken this Thanksgiving. Seems too much like inner-species rape.

[Jesse Potts @Jesse_Potts]

An other single guy - http://t.co/AxcXLPNSX4

[Jesse Potts @Jesse_Potts]

I hate auto correct. It's ducking stupid!

[You know @Tmoney68]

BREAKING: California becomes first state to ban plastic bags.

People who love picking up dog shit with their bare hands rejoice.

[Jesse Potts @Jesse_Potts]

Orange Tic-Tacs putting themselves out there as "breath mints" is a severe misrepresentation.

[Jesse Potts @Jesse_Potts]

"Beauty comes from within."
-An Ugly Person

[Jesse Potts @Jesse_Potts]

My son and I found a pink grasshopper the other day....now continue with your day.

[Wellbelove @wellbelove]

Good question

[Jesse Potts @Jesse_Potts]

Changing my ex-girlfriend's name in my phone to "Used Up Ol' Skank"...yeah! That'll show her!

[Jesse Potts @Jesse_Potts]

I don't go to weddings for the same reason I don't go to State Executions.

[Jesse Potts @Jesse_Potts]

So...Zack Morris never used his time freezing powers to finger Kelly Kapowski or check out Jesse Spanno's tits?

[Jesse Potts @Jesse_Potts]

Not having your phone on silent, in public, is equivalent to not covering your mouth when you cough.