jess

keeping this account in case i one day decide to blog again lol

[jess @JessSlaughter_]

i watched ONE video about becoming a better MW sniper and now my ads are trying to get me to join the air force

[jess @JessSlaughter_]

watching lots of moving vlogs and my favorite thing is how iMac’s have become $2,000 nonfunctional aesthetic decor pieces

[jess @JessSlaughter_]

almost wine o clock

[jess @JessSlaughter_]

I can’t wait for KUWTK quarantine season

[jess @JessSlaughter_]

realizing the 7 minutes was for rolled oats not steel cut but I never noticed because mine soak for 3 hours!

[jess @JessSlaughter_]

steel cut oats are impractical because by the time the 7 minutes of soaking them in hot water has passed, it’s already lunch time

[jess @JessSlaughter_]

20 minutes into the flight, girl next to me asks flight attendant “I have a cough, can I move seats?” on a full flight

[jess @JessSlaughter_]

At the airport and just watched a guy get off the plane wearing a mask, take it off, and proceed to cough into his hands. I’m very ready to lock myself in my apartment.

[jess @JessSlaughter_]

I just found out that my TL’s dog is THE Amazon “something went wrong” dog, Muffin is a STAR

[jess @JessSlaughter_]

Ready to bring the Bachelor method to the corporate world

[jess @JessSlaughter_]

The only motivation I needed to finally take the workout class at my building was for my coworker to say she’ll join me Friday because now the fear of disappointing her far outweighs my laziness

[jess @JessSlaughter_]

Divs are the new dumb boys

[jess @JessSlaughter_]

This T Swift documentary has me listening to Fearless at work and subconsciously associating the same level of emotion I had towards this album in 2012 with some divs that won’t resize the way I want them to

[jess @JessSlaughter_]

Kinda wanna go rogue and start signing off all my corporate emails with “~jess”

[jess @JessSlaughter_]

tired of vaguely named and secretive “announcement” slide decks at all-hands meetings because you never know if your team is going to Hawaii or some person you’ve never met is leaving the team

[esther povitsky @littleesther]

ideal social hang is me with three friends and i sulk quietly while they talk

[jess @JessSlaughter_]

this tweet just made me realize that I graduated MIDDLE SCHOOL in the same decade that I started full-time at Google ?????

[jess @JessSlaughter_]

Hashtag just new office things

[jess @JessSlaughter_]

the real purpose of standing desks is to help you avoid asking people how to raise your new office chair by letting you lower your whole desk instead

[jess @JessSlaughter_]

i’m extremely disappointed in this result after counting past so many April Ludgate gifs