Lit Jesus

el fenomeno

yale 2029

[Lit Jesus @JitLesus]

Throwing up behind my hometown Walgreens because I’m the main character

[Lit Jesus @JitLesus]

when the seagulls follow the trawler, its because they think sardines will be thrown into the sea. I love life

[Lit Jesus @JitLesus]

shod i buy this

[Lit Jesus @JitLesus]

cortisol through the roof

[Lit Jesus @JitLesus]

was told my hair looks very debonaire tonight

[Lit Jesus @JitLesus]

shower scotch snd soda

[Lit Jesus @JitLesus]

I bet hitting something with your car on purpose feels good as fuck

[Lit Jesus @JitLesus]

unhand my blouse

[Lance Corporate @lance_corporate]

Dental hygienist (28F): I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this but based on my observations you are mere hours from death

Dentist (44M): looks good man

[Lit Jesus @JitLesus]

mrsmokegange

[Lit Jesus @JitLesus]

mira memo vamos al mundial!

[Lit Jesus @JitLesus]

part of being successful no one tells you is you have to be able to convince people you are both the smartest person ever and someone who cannot read

[Lit Jesus @JitLesus]

who up bettering they relationship with god

[Lit Jesus @JitLesus]

drinking crete (concrete)

[Lit Jesus @JitLesus]

you know whats a good word, inebriated

[Lit Jesus @JitLesus]

assistant is realizing who she is assisting

[Lit Jesus @JitLesus]

never thought the question “do you think you’re funny?” was rhetorical I love to answer

[Lit Jesus @JitLesus]

doing a lot of things with squid ink these days

[Aday Mara #1 Fan @MCCAlN3]

😭

[Lit Jesus @JitLesus]

never panic

[Lit Jesus @JitLesus]

giving up making ice at home, instead I just doordash a bag and feel like a medieval knight sending a squire on errands #HOTD