Johnny Gallis

The pun is always intended.

[Johnny Gallis @JJJG13]

Time is a scam invented by the clock industry to sell more clocks.

[Johnny Gallis @JJJG13]

Thank you for the Millingminutes, @Millingtweets 🎺

[Johnny Gallis @JJJG13]

More important news about the main event of today: Metal Slug Tactics. Reviews say it's like Into the Breach but with poorly translated English dialogue from French. That's two big positives for me.

[Johnny Gallis @JJJG13]

Guys, Metal Slug Tactics is out today. I feel like there won't be a lot of tweets specifically about Metal Slug Tactics today, so I'll be the hype source.

[Johnny Gallis @JJJG13]

I bet there's like a button in the oval office that's labelled "grocery prices go down" like right next to the launch nukes button and it's all dusty and there's a spider web on it.

[Johnny Gallis @JJJG13]

@BeauThomas_ I have good news for you in that case

[Johnny Gallis @JJJG13]

Seeing a cybertruck in the wild is such an experience, it's like someone dipped a big Mac box in chrome and thought "woah, I wish I could drive this."

[Johnny Gallis @JJJG13]

When my son asks what cool adult stuff I do, I'm going to tell him that sometimes, as a treat, I buy the fancy thick sliced shredded cheese from the grocery store instead of the normal shredded cheese.

[Johnny Gallis @JJJG13]

It's always "oh here comes Triple H with a steel chair" and never "Randy Orton with fresh baked crullers out of nowhere." I think this would be a great wrestling twist, also I haven't watched any wrestling since like 2005.

[Johnny Gallis @JJJG13]

Tomatoes are like the worst salsa fruit, how did they become the default?

[Johnny Gallis @JJJG13]

I can't play the Elden Ring DLC until like next week due to various obligations so if everyone could do me a favor and not tweet about it until then, that would be great, thanks a bunch

[Johnny Gallis @JJJG13]

Persona 3 is the best Persona game because there is a dog.

[Johnny Gallis @JJJG13]

Balatro has cooked my brain to the degree that, when my 6 month old son woke up at 2am last night, my first thought was "I have to check if the diaper is a spade or a heart to see if I can use it for the flush."

[Johnny Gallis @JJJG13]

The only 2 things Instagram's algorithm knows about me are dogs and shadow the hedgehog.

[Johnny Gallis @JJJG13]

It's been 12 years, and I'm at 100 followers. That's about .69 followers a month.

Nice.

[Johnny Gallis @JJJG13]

I just want a place to live, I don't need an ecosystem in my kitchen

[Johnny Gallis @JJJG13]

House hunting in 2024 is like "yeah the doors work, that'll be 700k."

[Johnny Gallis @JJJG13]

I will purposely do everything I can to never visit Rusty Bucket Bay any time I play Banjo Kazooie

[Johnny Gallis @JJJG13]

This is just a normal team you'd bring to the red and blue elite 4

[Johnny Gallis @JJJG13]

I'm going to see a former YouTuber run for president in my lifetime and I'm not ready for that

[Johnny Gallis @JJJG13]

My son goes to daycare tomorrow. It's his first Monday. The Mondayest Monday of his life.