JLaw

sit-down comedian

[JLaw @JLaw05]

I've always been an awkward guy, but holy shit I didn't realize just how awkward I am until I started driving for Lyft. This dude opened my door tonight and I literally said "welcome to my car."

[JLaw @JLaw05]

@MaxHurst_ Sick Venmo balance flex

[JLaw @JLaw05]

@mushymushmushy Bro gonna have every seat booked 😂

[JLaw @JLaw05]

@WillDammann Good tweet, William.

[JLaw @JLaw05]

@Miggydeltaco TYFYS

[JLaw @JLaw05]

Me my newborn
🤝
Throwing up when we
drink too much

[JLaw @JLaw05]

32-16 this time

[JLaw @JLaw05]

How can you get outscored 40-13 in the fourth quarter of a must-win game 😔

[JLaw @JLaw05]

It's always "wow Rachel you're glowing!" and never "wow Jacob your hairline looks really decent today"

[JLaw @JLaw05]

@PaulCharchian Bulls Horn in south MPLS is the best dive

[JLaw @JLaw05]

@MySportsUpdate We want Tanner Morgan

[JLaw @JLaw05]

@MaxHurst_ Don't tweet and drive Max

[Ted Glover @purplebuckeye]

Your QB vs. my QB #SKOL #VIKINGS

[JLaw @JLaw05]

Been trying to understand where this interaction went south and I have no idea but I take full responsibility

[JLaw @JLaw05]

Ordered 4 large fries at McDonalds in Mexico because I panicked and said si when I couldn't understand her question

[JLaw @JLaw05]

@Miggydeltaco No you weren't

[JLaw @JLaw05]

@barstoolsports @BarstoolCFB @rhoback @highnoonsunsips @nooners @ProperWhiskey @Hooters @cheezit Where's Tanner Morgan?

[JLaw @JLaw05]

@Tom__Eklund @StarTribune @Billyhottakes FGOTW for sure

[Riggs @RiggsBarstool]

…which means Colin will be in Scottsdale for the Championship this November. With his partner. With a chance to win the whole damn thing.

I know Colin looks forward to this. It helps keep him going.

Keep fighting @crich_baseball and we’ll see your ass in AZ in November!!

[JLaw @JLaw05]

Why is it called kneading dough instead of elbowing it?

[JLaw @JLaw05]

This is @MaxHurst_'s dream

[cass biehn | VESUVIUS out now 🌋 @cassbeewrites]

Idea to replace Twitter: we all get added to the same Google Doc and see what happens

[Would it dong? @would_it_dong]

Christian Yelich vs Zach Thompson
#ThisIsMyCrew

Home Run 💣

Exit velo: 108.3 mph
Launch angle: 29 deg
Proj. distance: 429 ft

No doubt about that one 🔒
That's a dinger in all 30 MLB ballparks

PIT (1) @ MIL (6)
🔻 4th