Joseph Dignan

Life is all so crazy and god must be thoroughly entertained by all our little dances.

[Joseph Dignan @JoeDignan]

SLAM, poetry.
YELLING!
Angry.
Waving my hands a LOT!
Specific point of view on THINGS!
Cynthia. Cyn-thi-A!
Jesus died for our SIN-THI-AS!
Jesus cried, runaway brideee
Julia Roberts!
Julia Rob.. HURTS.
Cynthia! Mmmmm Cynthia.
You’re dead. YOU ARE DEAD.
Bap boop beep bop boo bop!

[Chris Rose @ArchRose90]

This was brilliant. Trevor Phillips played a clip of what Keir Starmer said about George Floyd and displayed how Labour MPs expressed their “anger”.

David Lammy said it was fine because they were in opposition.

But not fine for Nigel Farage to use the term “rage” like they did.

[David @Daveyeahhh]

Will have to get a portable one. Not having my gaff look like a kebab shop.

[Luke @LukeWhosTalking]

Him being arrested

[Jordan Walker @JayW132]

HS2. A masterclass in how Britain destroys money.

The cost:
• 2011: £32.7bn
• 2013: £45bn
• 2015: £55.7bn
• 2019: up to £88bn
• 2020: up to £106bn
• 2026: up to £102.7bn… for a fraction of the original route

What’s been cut along the way:
• 2021: Eastern leg to Leeds: SCRAPPED
• 2022: Golborne link to Scotland: SCRAPPED
• 2023: Birmingham → Manchester leg: SCRAPPED
• 2023: Crewe hub: SCRAPPED
• Euston terminus: paused, downsized from 10 platforms to 6, now needs private finance

Original plan: 11 cities, 340 miles, £32bn, open 2026.

What we’re getting: 4 stations, 140 miles, £100bn+, open 2039.

A national embarrassment, paid for by taxpayers.

[Philip Proudfoot @PhilipProudfoot]

It costs more to build a train from London to Birmingham (£102.7 bn) than for NASA to return to the moon (£100 bn)

England is so broken.

[🇬🇧Lost Britain 🆘 @LostBritainSOS]

So here we have 2 children, one is a racist, violent, far right thug, the other, well I’ll let you decide.

[Wendy Oldershaw @WendtheWalker]

Two children, two protests.

One was taught to love their country.

The other was taught to hate.

[Degen CPA @DrewVento]

He liked the meme, now make every single post on his timeline the meme.

[Cav Senpai @cavannastan]

Keep the page perfectly still, then the exact moment he's about to tap the screen, load an ad and shift everything down half an inch.

[alli @sonofalli]

He’s going to the airport. Add 10 people in the security line who have never spent a day on earth.

[Robo @robowyd]

I can’t believe I’ve lived long enough to watch the full reproductive cycle of an iPod nano

[Jordanreviewsittt @jordanreviewsit]

He’s going to the post office. Add 10 people in line who have never mailed anything in their entire life

[cj- @cjnieI]

One thing about butterflies they do not fly in your house that’s a bug with class

[Sarah @kokeshimum]

What a terrible day to have eyes and the ability to read.

[J.K. Rowling @jk_rowling]

Bravo, @Keir_Starmer, for getting in an Adviser on Women and Girls who thinks the definition of women and girls includes men and boys. That'll definitely win back people who believe Labour's a party for smug, lanyard-wearing, luxury-belief-espousing cultural elitists. 1/2

[Ross Kempsell @RossKempsell]

barely a day goes by when I don’t watch this

[Matthew Tynan @Matthew_Tynan]

I love when people tweet “you’ll never guess in a million years who…” and they’re absolutely correct

[Saint Hoax @SaintHoax]

rats coming back to remind the world they're the og plaguefluencers

[Joseph Dignan @JoeDignan]

@flapprdotnet @GWaugh32

[Flappr @flapprdotnet]

JP Morgan brokers discussing performance reviews: