Joe Einloth

Yesterday I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas, I'll never know.

[Nick Anderson/Political Cartoonist @Nick_Anderson_]

Graham Platner
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#grahamplatner

[Nick Anderson/Political Cartoonist @Nick_Anderson_]

World Cup
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#FIFA #WorldCup

[🍁☘️Canadian Fletchy 🇨🇦 @Darth_Pingu]

BREAKING: They've changed the name

[Nick Anderson/Political Cartoonist @Nick_Anderson_]

Crowd Size
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#taylorswift

[Michael de Adder @deAdder]

Waterpauze. Go Belgium.
#Belgium📷 #BelgianRedDevils #FIFAWorldCup

[Bill Bramhall @BillBramhall]

Cartoon

[Joe Einloth @JoeEinloth]

@jfranklin566 @typocatCAv2 I refuse to hold FIFA & Trump's corruption against the team that performed heroically against B-H.

[Bill Bramhall @BillBramhall]

Cartoon

[Norm Macdonald Joke of the Day @NormSNLJokes]

Police in Newnan, Georgia discovered thirty-five bags of cocaine in the backpack of a second grader yesterday.

Authorities say they grew suspicious when the boy began showing up to school in a stretch limo surrounded by gorgeous hookers.

[Norm Macdonald Joke of the Day @NormSNLJokes]

This week Disney released a new CD, featuring a rapping Mickey Mouse.

To avoid controversy, the CD will not include the controversial hit single, "Cat Killer."

[Norm Macdonald Joke of the Day @NormSNLJokes]

The New York Public Interest Research Group has unveiled its tenth annual list of dangerous toys for the upcoming Christmas season.

Topping the list this year?

Baby's first circular saw.

[Norm Macdonald Joke of the Day @NormSNLJokes]

While performing in New York this week, to a packed audience, Yoko Ono shocked the crowd by tearing up a Bible.

Most shocking of all?

Yoko Ono performed TO A PACKED AUDIENCE.

[Norm Macdonald Joke of the Day @NormSNLJokes]

This Thursday, in an Arlington, Virginia courtroom, sportscaster Marv Albert accepted a plea bargain in his trial on forcible sodomy charges.

This, following revelations of Albert's compulsion for biting women, three-way sex, and wearing panties and garters.

Said Albert about his decision, quote, "at least I've still got my dignity."

[Norm Macdonald Joke of the Day @NormSNLJokes]

Famed anthropologist Mary Leakey died this Monday, at the age of eighty-three.

Leakey was buried near her home, where she will rest in peace.

Until some nosy anthropologist digs her up in a couple of years.

[Molly Jong-Fast @MollyJongFast]

Live your life so people don’t celebrate when they take your name off things

[Norm Macdonald Joke of the Day @NormSNLJokes]

Israeli security forces have rounded up over one hundred and fifty suspects in last week's suicide bombings.

Suspects in the suicide bombings, huh?

Well here's a hint: Look for the dead guys.

[Norm Macdonald Joke of the Day @NormSNLJokes]

And finally, when Richard Gere made his first appearance recently on the Oprah Winfrey Show, the two got along famously.

But all that may change when the actor hears about this month's Oprah Winfrey Book Club selection.

It's called "What Really Happened" by Richard Gere's gerbil.