John Barton

[John Barton @JohnBarton_]

@NatashaWylde Spending time with me right? ;)

[John Barton @JohnBarton_]

@MoiraBarton Oi! I didn't mind you perving over that dancing chav on yesterdays show!

[John Barton @JohnBarton_]

@MoiraBarton No probs, its about time I did something to get me dirty... i'm clearly not doing enough on the farm to do so!!

[John Barton @JohnBarton_]

@MoiraBarton Well i'm happy to be sitting here watching Talent... as long as you sit with me and I can rub your leg!

[John Barton @JohnBarton_]

@MoiraBarton Glad to know I don't smell ;) Lets av it!!

[John Barton @JohnBarton_]

Now where is my lovely wife gone? I want to rub her leg some more!! Surely she hasn't gone because I smell or anything!!

[John Barton @JohnBarton_]

One question, why is our Xbox on the shelf like an ornament rather than being under the TV?

[John Barton @JohnBarton_]

At least @MoiraBarton lets me rub her leg! One step closer to going to clean the loft!! And I still haven't got changed!

[John Barton @JohnBarton_]

Look I don't even have to get changed to go to the pub i'm that clean!!!

[John Barton @JohnBarton_]

I just love how I slave away on the farm all day yet manage to stay perfectly clean!!! Don't think i'll even bother with a shower tonight!

[John Barton @JohnBarton_]

I wish @MoiraBarton would let me kiss her again!

[John Barton @JohnBarton_]

Ooh Armenia is nice! Shame she's singing about an Apricot stone!!!!

[John Barton @JohnBarton_]

@MoiraBarton You can have Russia if you like ;)

[John Barton @JohnBarton_]

@MoiraBarton Ooh she is nice looking. Could do with her on the farm love!

[John Barton @JohnBarton_]

@MoiraBarton hey babe, don't you think we'd do well on Eurovision? We are great at karaoke night!

[John Barton @JohnBarton_]

@MoiraBarton Coming up?? I'm already there love! Got ya brew here! xx

[John Barton @JohnBarton_]

@MoiraBarton Well I was wondering that as I don't like them either. Do any of the kids like them??

[John Barton @JohnBarton_]

@MoiraBarton Custard Creams and Hobnobs! Oh and some kitkats.

[John Barton @JohnBarton_]

@MoiraBarton Don't know. You did the shopping!

[John Barton @JohnBarton_]

@MoiraBarton Yes I know it is, but we're all out and I can't be bothered to go to the Woolie. Kettle's on love!